Life — August 12, 1897 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Second Tramp: 11's UNFORTUNATE THAT WE HAV “*GRACIOUS! WE'VE GOT HOLD OF SOMETHING, NO PROVISIONS ON BOARD, HOWEVER, I'LL JUSTCAST SURE, WE'LL GET RID OF SOME OF THIS BALLAST OVER THIS GRAPPLING HOOK; PERHAPS WE MAY CATCH — AND RAISE HER U A FISH. beauty, his glassy eyes reminiscent, and saw only a great, eye-burning, soul- scorching, flamboyant Niagara of gold. “ Point out to me the richest,” was all he said, in a soulless voice from which all the tune had been stamped by penu- rious waiting. * * . VAN KNOWSIE’S WALK. By Davis Hardwood, Ni bappened that Van Knowsie was in New York in August. He had never been in New York at this time before. No one ever has. He had always understood that at this season it was given over to roof-garden sou- brettes, people from Arkansas, and oleaginous Hebrews. “Tt will be a new experience,” said Van Knowsie, witha sigh. ‘‘And there are so few new experiences!" So after breakfasting at the Waldorf he walked down Broadway. It was half- pastten, Theevening papers were out. “Six clock dishun— Wiold, Sun, Telegram,” cried a shrill, trumpeting, little voice. The vendor was but a babe of Bowery precocity. “My child,” said Van Knowsie, “‘life has begun too early for you,” and he called an officer, “* Officer,” he said, ** this must not be allowed, Qut of the mouths of babes and sucklings we should not learn the latest divorce.” “* Who are youse?” queried the officer. “One o’ them Gerry ducks?” But someone in the crowd said, ‘He is Van Knowsie,” and the child, who was the sole support of one of those widowed mothers with which the Bow- ery is populated, was led weeping away to a police station, Van Knowsie thought he would try a roof-garden in the evening. “T do not expect to be amused,” said Van Knowsie, for he was too well-bred to be enthusiastic over anything, ‘* but there is no opera, and no dukes in town —and a man must do something.” As he took his seat on the roof-garden agirl with custard colored hair, and a voice that suggested a need of oiling, shouted out a song, which frankly rec- ognized certain conditions of life which polite persons only allude to with great aversion, and generally in French. ‘The shouting girl was dressed, with great regard for the warm weather, ina low-cut corsage and high-cut skirt. After the song Van Knowsie went behind the scenes. Ina few quiet words 133 ~ he advised the manager to bave the song withdrawn, and to take the custard col- ored girl off the bill, “‘Anthony Comstock, or Mrs. Grannis in disguise?” asked the scowling manager. They explained to him that Van Knowsie was an influ- ential person who took a kindly but almost unnatural interest in other people's af- fairs, and while they were explaining this, Van Know- sie caught sight of his valet drinking gin fizz at a table, and, going to him, dismissed him from his service with a few well chosen words, “*New York in August is rather interesting,” said Van Knowsie. “There is somuch to object to.” * . * A SUBURBAN STUDY. By Backyard Tippling. LUE SOCHELLE is situated on the New Haven and Connecticut line, and is intensely literary. When a suburb is literary, it is literary in an entirely “GREAT HEAVINGS, IT’S THE SEA SERPENT! STEER FOR BARNUM's CIRCUS !"" puT— comicbooks.com