Life — July 29, 1897 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PERTINENT. “WHY DON'T YOU HIT A FELLER OF YOUR SIZE?" “po YOU WANT ME TO WAIT HEKE TILL You GRow?" (Bi7//, 93 Hiawathas ply their gentle craft, the amiable fisherman unchains his yellow dog and shoos home his trustful hens. * * * ET with all these attractions, Bar Harbor is still in its unformed stages; it still lingers under the thrall of the garish beauty who sells photographs and souvenirs, what time she masticates the toothsome pine gum and gives the summer girl the frozen eye and marble heart. This resort 1s long on scenery, mountains, cliffs, fogs, billows, and all the raw material of a summer resort; but it is short on real aristocrats, who blow themselves regardless of cost. Bar Harborites affect to despise the flamboyant gayety of the nether coast resorts; but their contempt lacks heartiness, and does not impress even Bangor, which prefers the mingled joys of the white wines, camp-meetings and chromo-society which reign at Old Orchard. Only a few Canadian baronets affect Bar Harbor, and even the rawest parvenu, with callouses still on his cheek, fails to be impressed by proviocial poli- ticians and shopkeepers with titles; our secret societies have made grab-bag, four-carat honors promiscuous and unimpressive. The American freeman who comes to Bar Harbor to be dazzled by plutocratic splendor, goes away feeling that the ticket agent has buncoed him. In point of fact, Bar Harbor lacks the plated splendor of Newport, the pseudo-squirearchy of Lenox, the thermal abandon of Narragansett, and the dead game sport of Coney Island. Its ancestral grocers, pedlars, ragpickers and train-wreckers are not remote enough yet, and Bar Harbor seems to have simply developed into a green persimmon that never will be ripe. Joseph Smith, PEARLS OF ETIQUETTE. IT IS NOT THE CORRECT THING TO TAKE PART IN FAMILY DISAGREEMENTS. IF SUCH OCCUR IN YOUR PRESENCE, REMAIN SILENT, AS AN OUTSIDER SHOULD, AND RETIRE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE,