Life — July 22, 1897 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IS for Anthony Hope, Who gives to his fancy free scope; In turret and tower His characters cower, Or make hairbreadth escapes by a rope. IS for bashful James Barrie, From the land of the kilt and Glengarry; We've read him to date, And his next we await, For we wonder whom Tommy will marry. IS for colorful Crane, Who has a phenomenal brain; His language amazes, He writes in blue blazes, And his verses are really insane. IS for R. Harding Davis, And jolly good stories he gave us ; Van Ribber will do, And Gallagher too, But from his war-notes, the saints save us. IS for George Egerton, Whose Acynotes were rather good un; But her themes pathologic, And terms pedagogic, Are things the Young Person should shun. IS for Frances Burnett, Who revels in plain epithet; Her people of quality, Though given to jollity, Are the worst that we ever have met. IS for Mr. Grant Allen, * Who pours out his views by the gallon; His books are improper, But he's a Hill-Topper, So he fears not the critic’s sharp talon. IS for William Dean Howells, As wise as the wisest of owls; The subject of jokes Of frivolous folks, At which he good-naturedly growls. IS for lan Maclaren, Who knows about Moses and Aaron; But in stories and tales He signally fails, For of artistic interest they're barren. *LIFE: A BC OF LITERATURE, IS for jimp Henry James, Who expounds lofty motives and aims With sentences long And arguments strong, And the most unpronounceable names. IS for capable Kipling, Who,though he's accounted stripling, Writes stories and rhymes Right up to the times About loving and fighting and tippling. IS for lean Andrew Lang, Who recently saw, with a pang, ‘That a man up in Maine Stole the work of his brain, And he gave him a lengthy harangue. IS Maurice Maeterlinck, Whose dramas are graveyards in ink; Abstract, esoteric, Symbolic, hysteric— To read him would drive us to drink. IS for noxious Nordau, Who pictures the terrible woe In store for the race Since we've fallen from grace, And surely the Doctor should know. IS for Miss Olive Schreiner, Whose writings grow finer and finer; She certainly seems To be given to dreams Of which she's the only diviner. IS for Popular Parker, Who writes of the North, where it’s His Pretty Pierre [darker; Is drawn with great care, But to Va/mond he isn't a marker. IS for quick-witted **Q,”" At home ona staff or a crew; With vigor and skill He handles a quill, Or paddles his well-loved canoe, IS for Richard Le Gallienne, Who really deserves a medallion That his Fancies and Quest Were never suppressed; But they ought to be writ in Italian > IS for Sad Sarah Grand, S Who marital happiness banned; Her public she vexes With problems of sexes Which most of us can’t understand. 1S for terse Thomas Hardy; Whose works we with wonder regard. Has written for years, (He But it somehow appears His moral convictions were tardy. IS for dear Uncle Remus, To praise him ‘twould surely beseem We've contracted ahabit —[us; Of quoting Br'er Rabbit, Or poor old Br'er Wolf in extremis. 1S Victoria Crosse, Who wouldn't be much of a loss, For her Woman who Wouldn't Or Couldn't, or Shouldn't, Is nothing but driveling dross, IS Mrs. Ward, By whom we are awfully bored; Robert Elsmere we stood, And Marcella was g00d, But when 7ressady came we were floored, IS the author unknown, Who signs any name but his own; And though nobody claims The Descendant and James, In their pages good writing is shown, IS for Zangwill the Zealous, Of whom our own critics are jealous, But in epigram keen, Free from malice or spleen, Those foreigners seem to excel us. Carolyn Wells.