Life — July 8, 1897 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

iy IN THE GARDEN. Thavea little garden, A dear, sequestered spot, Ia which I love to delve and dream, And give free rein to thought. ‘Tis there I've watched how nature weaves The magic of her spell; And through the sprouts, and shoots, and leaves, I've learned her lessons well. I've got a little darling, Who loves my garden, too- A curly-headed baby boy, With eyes of wondrous blue. And yesterday he delved where I Had fondly delved before; My shoots and tendrils wilting lie, And they will sprout no more! —Cleveland Leader. Here isa drought story told by a traveling man: 1 was driving across the country to a little town in westera Kansas the other day, when I met a farmer hauling a wagon load of water. “ Where do you get water?" said I. “Up the road about seven miles," he replied. “And you haul water seven miles for your family and stock?" “Yep.” “Why in the name of sense don’t you dig a well?" “Because it’s jest as far one way as the other, stranger." —Kansas City Journal. “Miss SMUTHER was named after her Uncle George, wasn't she?” “I don't know, She looks as if she was named before him."—Cincinnats Commercial Tribune, “Tuar mine in Tuolumpe County is costing mea mint of money,” said a local capitalist to one of bis employees. ‘1 wish you would figure around and see if you can't make a saving somewhere. If you can I'll raise your salary $50. a month.” “But suppose I can't make a saving of $50 a month?" inquired the young man. “Well, I tried to figure it out myself, and I can't find where I can saveacent. If you can you are worth $50 a month more.” “Allright, sir. I'll look into it.” The young man went over all the accounts, but he could not find where he could cut down a single ex- pense. Finally it occurred to him that he was drawing $25 a month for acting as secretary of the mining company. “Ive found a place where you can save Ss a month,” he informed his employer the nextday. ‘I've cut off that salary of $25 a month we've been paying the secretary for doing nothing.” He got his raise.—San Francisco Post. Wues a certain bishop was about to make a visi- tation of his diocese his wife stid to him: ‘Now, Bishop, you know you musn’t eat any mince pie; for you know it never agrees with you.” ‘No, I won't,” said the Bishop, and for a while he withstood the temp- tation in various quarters. But, at last, he succumbed toan especially choice piece, and it was so good that he ate another, That night he was taxen violently ill, and the physician who was summoned was greatly surprised to find how extremely nervous his patient was over his condition. ‘Way, Bishop, surely you are not afraid to die?" ‘Oh, no,” said the Bishop, “Tam not afraid to die, but I am very much ashamed to die."—Christian Register. WAY AND WILLIAMS: CHICAGO, Belanyo._ By Opie Read. Constantine. By George Horton. Dreams of To-Day. By Percival Pollard. Saints, Sinners, and Queer People. By Marie Lal Beynon. New York: Authors’ Publishing Compayf His Excellency, By Emile Zola. New York: 1 Macmillan Company. “Way is that man dragging that poor little i along that way? Gracious goodness! He'll jerk poor, weeping, little fellow’s arm out of its sotix What do you suppose is the trouble ?"” “There's a circus parade up on the next street, the man is probably afraid that the little boy will» it, if they don’t hurry.""—Cleveland Leader. “sex from the war news,” remarked Mrs, So: “that several Turkish magazines have been capture.) “ Yes," replied Snag, “*T suppose the object Prevent the editors from filling their pages with articles for the next twenty-five years.” Pittsburgh Chroni (learning): Do you think that | am afl good at it, Jinks ? Jinks: At what ? “*Golf, of course. What do you think?” “1 haven't seen you play golf yet. cutting sod all day, At that you're a dandy.”” Harper's b “How did you come out with that piece of st: ary ?” asked the sculptor’s friend. “Not so well as I expected. The city acc without a murmur and I got scarcely a column vertisement out of it.""—Washington Star, Yor sale London, F, C., England, aa yy all Newadealers in Great Britain. The Inter. national News Com Bream's Building, Chancery Lane, Evnoreas Aguxrs—Mesera, Brentano, $7 Avene Parte} Saarbach's News Fx Germany, Agente for Germany, Austria and IVORY SOAP If Ivory were not the best soap it would not be found at more grocery stores than any other. | Tne Paoctes & Gawait Co., Cowty a Patronize American Industries — KNOX oa ou. wealth, & "GOF Retent ation ir $1.00 prize offer . fo m list of 060 thousand inventions wanted. Tiere was a young maid in Dubuque | Who ate an assortment of cuque- | Umbers and cream, - And now, it would seem, She is gone beyond praise or rebuque. —Indianapotis Journal, “Drink HUNTER RYE. It Is pure." HUNTER BALTIMORE|” For Club, Family and Medicinal Un} THE BEST WHISKEY YEARS Endorsed by leading Physicians 4 when stimulant Is prescribed. SOLD AT ALL FIRST-CLASS CAFES AND BY JOBBERS, ‘a WM. LANAHAN & SON, BALTIMORE, MD. ED. PINAUD'S 37.Bouevano ve Strasaouns. 17 \MPROVE THE QUALITY IF PAID DOUBLE THE PRICE Hf A 203. TRIAL PACKAGE * he saia, “it is impossibte to take | something from nothing.” “I don't know about that," she replied, as she picked a long brown hair from bis |coat collar.—Cleveland Leader. || Mrs, Mutcany: And so your cow is sick? E: She 1s, and it makesit hard | Mrs. BuRK' for mesilf and the children, we have no milk lat all; I have to sell it.— Boston Transcript, ‘QUININE HAIR TONIC. WILLLAF TER A FEW APPLICATIONS, corireennes ‘THE SCALP NEW LIFE AND VIGO