Life — July 8, 1897 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

*>LIFE- age man who listens to the siren voice of Narragansett Pier. If you are ever solicited to go to Narragansett Pier, go at once to Coney Island or Jersey City, or failing them, open correspondence with a green goods man. You will save money by your forethought. Joseph Smith. WHAT THE SUN SAID. HE summer sun glared fiercely down Upon the seashore gay, And watched the maidens as they pranced In Neptune's briny spray. ** Humph !” said the orb, as up be rose And took another turn, “Tis true that men are lacking here, But there are girls to burn! et TOES RS AR CTION TC Mrs. Doolan : AN’ VAWHY IS MISTHER CASEY NOT ON DOOTY TO-Day ? Is IT SICK HE Is? —_—- Mrs. Casey: XO, WE'S DISCHARGED FROM THE FOORCE. He's Gor so FAT AVERY . THOT HE COULDN'T SHTAND RETWEEN TWO CABLE CARS WIDOUT PUSHIN’ THE is VERY man has two wives: the one he UT PUSHIN’ THIS 5 OFF THE THRACK. ~ has and tke one he thinks he has. Virginia Niles Leeds, HARD LUCK. HEN Tom Plaster got out of his chair there was a rustle and crackle, as of mussing stiffly starched linen. I looked at him in surprise, sy. for I was under the impression that he had a neg- hifi ligee shirt on, and I found that 1] was right; it was a ) soft shirt. “Hello, old man,” I asked, as I noted the look ™ of patient pain on his face, ‘t what's the matter?” SS “You see," he explained, gently straightening / up, accompanied by the same mysterious rustle and crackle, ‘* came home unexpectedly the other day while my wife was out, and I putin the time taking a bath, and she had had the bathtub repainted while I was out of town.” “Dear me," I said, sympathetically, ‘how , very unfortunate.” “Yes,” he assented, mournfully, ‘tAnd be- sides, she’s done nothing but blow me up for spoiling the tub every time she’s seen me since.” Alex. Ricketts, A MISTAKEN ASSUMPTION. OU have, aw, no leisure clawss in this | leinstone |). % se countwy, aw,” remarked the inter- Coektoils i | ig rogative visitor. < —- “eis “You can't have seen a room full of govern- ment clerks in action,” replied the native Amer- ican, “ce i | | i 5 i { i t 7 I ‘HE best antidote for woman is women, A OIFFERENT MATTER. ROWNE: Salt is cheap the world over. Towne: Humph! Did you ever buy A DIABOLICAL SMILE. chloride of sodium at a drug store? comicbooks.com