Life — May 20, 1897 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HARD TO BEAR. STOPPED on the steps ere I rang the bell And gave her brother a quatter, A thing that is always just as well. When one’s courting the favorite daughter. And as I listened I bowed my head, And my heart sank down in the mire At the words he spoke: ‘Say, my sister said You were only a candy buyer.” It might have been anything else but this, And I wouldn't have felt so badly ; But I must confess it's a drop from bliss And the news affecis me sadly. I've bought her books, but it seems that they Could not in her inspire An answering thought—they've faded away, And I’m only a candy buyer. Think of the plays we've seen—ah, me! Think of the many hours I've spent in writing the lines that she Has read when I've shipped her flowers. But flowers and plays and poems co} But sentiments that tire, Beneath all this I'm the commonest clay, And only a candy buyer. Oh! the wittiest things I've said were those I've said to this fair maideo, And the clothes 1 wore were my very best clothes As I talked with a heart love-laden. That she loves me not isn't misery, ¥ YOU DIDX’T GO TO But it sets my heart on fire 7 SAKE AR SL UICNADE AX’ YALLER ICE-CREAM, AN’ T EAT SO MUCH DAT WI To know through it all she’s thought of me TROUGH 1 FELT AS DOUGH DERE WLZ A DUZZENT ANGELS A SITTIN’ As only a candy buyer. Tom Masson, ON ME RIBS A FANNIN’ ME STUMMICK TO SLEEP.” THE TOOTHPICK HABIT. public conveyance—in a streetcar, for in- toothpick, and this is particularly un- F all the dreadful minor habits of stance—with a toothpick in his mouth. pleasant, because the policeman is in men, the toothpick habit is the And this habit that is not confined to some degree a representative of thecity. worst. You see men, who have other- persons of any particularage;itsthought- By whomsoever indulged in, the prac- wise the appearance of human beings, less slave may beamanof mature years, tice of chewing toothpicks is distressing walking along the streetchewing atooth- or perhaps a younger person. Some- to all right-minded persons. Oh, throw ick; or you may meet somebody in a times one sees a policeman chewing a away the toothpick! THE INVENTOR IS OFFERED AN OPPORTUNITY TO EXPLAIN. comicbooks.com