Life — April 22, 1897 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

wy HER COURTSHIP. A man of modern science wooed A maiden of accepting mood, Who, dreading lest contagion might Do mischief to her chosen wight, With sol, bichloride washed her And likewise all her features fair. She rinsed her mouth with Listerine, And held, her snow-white teeth bet we A pad of antiseptic gauze, Covering her nose, as well Which formed a sort of respirator Between them and her osculator. jaws, But this reminds: I should have told That these were things he'd taught of old, With others which I may not tell, in Regard to spots that germs might dwell in. She was a wise professor's daughter And practiced all which had been taugh So this good medicine man, with pride Clasping his antiseptic bride, In disintected murmur low Asked “* Why she loved her doctor so And softly nestling down, she sighed, “You're such a dear old germicide.” —Boston Medical and Surgical Journal. can remove the cataract for two hun- dred dollars or put ia a glass eye for fifty. O'RALLY: Faix, docta darlint, give me wan o' thim Ocvuttst yl oR hit NLL NEW york. By Henry val American Lands and Letters, Mitchell. An inventor recently went to the British War Office By Donaid with an explosive that he said would destroy any army against which it was directed, ‘It is the most powerful explosive the world ever saw,” said the visitor, “and I propose to send up a balloon over any army that would attack ours, setting the fuse so that it might go off the moment the balloon floated over the army of the enemy." That is all very good, indeed,” said the Secretary of War, interrupting; ‘but suppose that a cur- rent of air should carry your explosive balloon over our army—what then ?"" ** Weil,” said the inventor, laying his handon the right nonorable gentleman's arm, * 1 tell you what it is, my friend—our army would have to get up and run like the very dickens."—. ¥. Tribune, F. TENNYSON NEELY, NEW YORK A Bachelor of Paris, By J. W. Nardin; My Spanish Sweetheart. By F. A. Ober Observations of a Bachelor. By Louis Lombars Kings in Adversity, By Edward S. Van Zile. The King, The Knave and The Donkey. Pythias Damon. Chicago: T. S. Denison Patience Sparhawk and Her Times, Atherton. London and New York : Bodeley Head. The Landlord at Lion's Head. New York: Harper and Brothers, Montaigne's Essays. New York: Macmillan Cs Ky Gert Jobn Lane, Ty By W. D. Howe’ THE men who utilize the corner grocery for a club- room in the evening and on stormy days had just been discussing a fox hunt about which one of their number had read aloud, when the conversation naturally took a reminiscent turn * Nothing cuter or more cunning in the world than a fox," sad Goggs, by way of introduction. ‘I re- member one night when I was a boy that we heard a kreat fuss among the dogs that were chained up. It took us about half an hour to get dressed and armed to sally forth for the purpose of investigating. Not dis- covering anything, we loosened the dogs, and they darted off ona trail, yelping as they went, We didn’t know whether it was man or varmint, but after a long run the dogs brought up at the hen house and tried to tear it down, Well, sir, an old fox had deliberately showed himself to the dogs so as to excite them, made circling around, was robbing the roost while were off the premises.” “1 waked up one moonlight night,” volunteered: man on the wood box, “and seen a fox under an tree where a fat pullet was roosting. couldn't climb, so I just stood at th The fox barked to wake the chicken, and t) circling around the tree, slow at first, but ¢ ¥ and faster. Of course, the terrified pullet followed » with her eyes and got so dizzy that she fell out of ty tre be deg * L see somethin’ like that once,” said the lank vidual on a paint keg, ‘‘only that the chicken Iw] watchin’ wrung its own neck, ‘cause the fox was gois durned fast.”” Then, by common consent, the crowd took up i glas s, Oi kin sae through it better, that run while we were getting ready for trouble, and, subject of floods.—Detroit Free Press. For slo by all Newedealers tn Great Britain. The Inter 8 Com| mate BC Sei Oe AGENTS, Chancery Lane, EvnoreaN AGENTS—Messra Brentano, $7 Avenue Go !'Oper, Paris; Saarbach's News Exchange, 1 Clarastrasee, Mayenca Germany, Agents for Germany, Austria and Bwitseriand. Secure the highest class of trade ; The shoppers who are shrewd and wise Select such stores to patronize ; And stores and shoppers all attest Pure Ivory Soap is er the best. A. by The Procter b Gemtte Ca, Cia AM CIGARS. ALL.IMPORTED, ToBACca. 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