Life — April 22, 1897 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

bees “* BEG PARDON, SIR, BUT WILL YOU PLEASE TAKE OFF YOUR HELMET? MY Mr. Redfield. the paragraph.” “Well?” “There was no such elopement, Mr. Cathcart. In publishing the statement, however, you have injured the reputation and character of Mrs. Beddington, and she has retained me for the purpose of secing that reparation is made her. She places the damages at the nominal sum of $10,000, with a complete denial of the statement to be published in the Genius of Liberty, with an am- ple apology, to be published at the same time. Will you agree to these terms, sir, and pay over the $10,000, or shall I begin an action at law?” ‘*Ten thousand!" gasped the edi- tor, in the same tone he might have used if he had been asked to float a government loan of ten times as many millions. “That was the sum I named.” “You say that Mrs, Beddington has not eloped, Mr.-er-er-Brewster ?"" ** Certainly not.” You probably recall IT MAY HAVE BEEN. “Then the Genius of Liberty made a misstatement in saying that she did?” ‘‘Not a misstatement, sir, merely, but it did her a most cruel injustice, for which exemplary damages must be had.” “Well, Mr. Brewster, I can't agree to pay $10,000 damages, for subscrip- tions have come in but slowly and there is no job printing to speak of, but I will make it all right in another way, sir.” “It will scarcely be worth while to suggest any other settlement, but I will listen to your offer, neverthe- less.” “Well, this. The of Liberty says she eloped. say she didn’t. Now to make the matter correct as it stands in the paper, I will agree to elope with her. What do you say to that?” This did not appear to be satisfac- tory, and the lawyer left the office to enter suit. Gentus You it’s William Henry Siviter. WIFE CAN'T SEE A THING.” A WANT. Wi STED: a muse content to sit Until I have the time ; Who will not, with the shadows, fit Away when I would rhyme. A muse that has her evenings in And has no Sundays out; And one who is not pale and thin— Far better, one who's stout. Wanted: a muse who can keep house— Who's willing and demure ; Who'll run the place the while my spouse Is on a lecturing tour. A muse of inspiration strong, Who'll all my weakness brook. And who'll incite me all day long— Likewise, one who can cook. Wanted: a muse quite versatile ; Good wages I will pay Unto the one who fills the bill— I want her right away. Willing to work both day and night, And double will her pay be If she can only, while I write, Learn how to hush the baby. Tom Masson. ARD LINES: wires, Telegraph