Life — March 4, 1897 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A CAROL OF ‘ COCAINE.” Cocaine inebriety is largely on the increase. — British Medical Journal, The present - day Anacreon Must find it very far from easy To write a modern drinking song, Or turn an up-to-date brindisi. Nor is there now encouragement For even an Horatius Flaccus sh about Falernian wine And publish sparkling odes to Bacchus. For now Society, good sooth, Or those who are the most in fashion, For very unpoetic drinks Develop an increasing pa Pray, how can poets hope to write In compositions blithely choral About the graduated glass My lady fills each night with chloral? sion. The brimming wine-cup's oft inspired The very gayest of reflections, But how can any bard indite A stave on morphia injections? Sonnets addressed to sulphonal Would be but worthless if created; And who ambrosial song can link With spirits— when they're methylated ? Nor does the ladies’ latest craze — Reported in a docte by all Newsdealers in Great Britain. The Inter Company, Bream's Building. Chancery Lane, Engiand, AGENTS, The very deftest minor bard, Though eager to be sympathetic, Can surely scarcely hope to find Concoctions of cocaine poetic! They may, and very likely do, Afiect the sight and hearing sadly; Their ‘‘neuro-muscular” effect May handicap the drinker badly; Rut even such results as these, Combined with “local anzsthesia,”” Cannot be said to make the task Of up-to-date Anacreons easier, —Henry Labouchere in London Truth. AN amusing glimpse of Hans von Balow is afforded in this extract from one of his letters: There were two bassoonists in the orchestra — imagine, amateurs !—they were my dread, and kept me constantly on tenterhooks. If they had nothing to play, then [ was ina state of terror that they might come in, and I was constantly warning them ‘ Not yet,’ but if they really had to come in, then [had not the courage to give them the sign — and [ warned them as before. An amateur kettledrum player, on the contrary, who received honorable mention, must have been a perfect marvel of a timekeeper, for when he had very long pauses, he counted them inwardly, and used to pay little visits to an adjoining café without endangering the ensemé/e, as he always got back punc- tually to his post in time for his next entry."—Argonaut. Bownat, the artist, sitting next to M. Maspero ata great dinner one night, said to him: ‘ Maspero, you who are so near-sighted, tell me how does M.—, away Germany, Agents for Germany, Austria and Switzerland. IVORY SOAP There is a “comfortable feeling” that comes after a bath with Ivory Soap. Tne Procter & Gawoit Co., Cin It's Ukely you need a tonle. Most people do. Abbott's Or ‘ane. izinal Angos For sale by all druggists, grocers and ta Bitters Is the wine merchants, Patronize American industries —wear KNOX HATS. Wanted—An Idea ‘Who can think of some simple thing topatent? down there at the foot of the table, appear to y “Well,” replied M. Maspero, ‘+1 see a white spot I know is his shirt front, and a flesh-colored spo I know is his face.” Ah," cried Bonnat, my pupils could see things in that way !"—Z OUR AMATEUR THEATRICALS. We did our best to make the cast Resplendent with fair faces ; The tenor’s blonde moustache stuck fast And black beards choked the basses; ‘The actresses were pretty maids, Quite partial to caresses, The programmes blazed with varied shades, Phe audience with dresses. The prompter played the leading part And pounded the piano; "Twas he who won the Prince's heart Instead of the soprano! Duke Harold somehow lost his head And flirted with his mother, Then stabbed the servant maid instead Of murdering her brother. The bridal feast was laid in skies, rhe alto ordered chowder ! The stage directors burned the flies, And blue and yellow powder. The audience escaped dismayed, Exceedingly distressful — Bout afterward, the critics said “Twas wondrously successful ! — .irgence CROPEAN AQENTS—Mosara Brentano, $7 Avenue de I'Opers, Saarbach’s News Exchange, 1 Clarastrasse, Mayence, HUNTER BALTIMORE PURE & MELLOW, The American Gentleman's Drist] For Club, Family and Medicinal i. 10 THE BEST YEARS WHISKEY -/ IN AMERICA Endorsed by leading Physiciass when stimulant Is prescribed. SOLD AT ALL FIRST-CLASS CAFES AND BY JOBBERS. WM. LANAHAN & SOK, BALTIMORE, MO. Protect your ideas. they may bring you wealth-| FRUIT AND ORNA! . Washington, D. C.. for thelr $1.80 pri 3nd hew list of one thousand laventions wanted. ROSES, ETC., — | varieties. Send foro B 15, Mate ate. lustrated catalog Ww 1G Biwa: s, Sate. a metrates ceralc DALY'S. Sot es fet Eves: MISS z. | j 5 ittle & Co. HEAL” HAN In Pinero’s * THE, MAG N.Y. Fues. Thurs & Sat. Ew at, Wed “ PRISONER at the bar,” said his Lord- ship, solemnly, having donned the black cap, ‘you will shortly have to appear be- fore another, and —perhaps—a_ better judge.” —Household Words.