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Life, 1897-02-18 · page 8 of 20

Life — February 18, 1897 — page 8: what you’re looking at

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Life — February 18, 1897 — page 8: Life, 1897-02-18

What you’re looking at

# George Washington Satire This page contains biographical anecdotes about George Washington, the first U.S. President. The text describes his military struggles during the Revolutionary War, his difficulties as President (including false teeth, incompetent generals, and a hostile press), and his eventual retirement to his farm. **Top illustration** ("Liked Good Clothes"): Shows Washington in formal 18th-century dress, apparently referencing his vanity or fashionable appearance—presented as a humanizing character detail. **Bottom illustration** ("Courting the Widow Curtis"): Depicts Washington's courtship of the wealthy widow Martha Custis, whom he married. This romanticizes his personal life and explains how he gained financial security. The satire gently humanizes Washington by emphasizing his flaws, vanity, romantic interests, and struggles—deflating the marble-statue mythology around the founding father.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

providentially incompetent, and as the French eventually came to his help, in the end he a8 ) won his fight, and a great deal was made of o Ke i sf him, and he became President. | fi p | 7 extraordinary patience and determination, ) @| | and as most of the British generals were E had a great deal of trouble as President. His false teeth fora long time were a bad fit and did himinjustice. Hehad enemies who did the same at every opportunity. The news- papers, which in our time relieve the President of so much of the care and responsibility of administering the government, were of scarcely any use to him, and some of them reviled him and lied about him to his extreme concern and disgust, so that he complained with exceeding warmth of their conduct, though it does not appear that at any time he neglected to read them. Neverthe! he finally got out of office with a good deal of his reputation left, and retired to his farm, where he lived happily for three years, writing many letters, and cor- recting the spelling of those he had written earlier in life. He died serenely in his LIKED GooD CLOTHES. bed of loss of blood carefully spilled by his ance of the Sabbath as people were in Connecticut attending physician. at that time, and sometimes he went hunting on i * © Sunday, though usually he went to church when it was EORGE WASHINGTON was an upright and able not too inconvenient. As soon as he got big enough patriot, sound in wind, limb, mind and morals, and he vegan falling in love with girls, but this habit, deserved all the success he won and all the consideration though for a while it consumed much of his time, his memory has received, The more intimately we know and led to much fruitless expenditure of time and money, presently served him in good : = TNT i stead, for when he fell in love with the rich | Wi i ) ith Widow Custis she married him and made ff y Al Ni him an excellent wife. He had a high tem- US Li per and sometimes used bad language; he | was also very modest and somewhat diffident. \ Nevertheless, because of some experience he } had had in Indian fighting, and because he was suspected of possessing the moral quality familiarly known as ‘tsand,” and because no one better offered, and for other reasons, when the Revolution broke out he was appointed Commander-in-chief of the American army. H® was far from being an accomplished soldier, and so much distrusted his military caf that he was prone to take advice, which usually turned out to be bad. Neverthel when he dd whip the British he got great advantage from it, and when they whipped him he also contrived, usually, to get advantage from and as he never would consent to stay thrashed, and as he had COURTING THE wiIpow cusTIs,