Life — January 14, 1897 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WHICH THEY DID. “Those revenue detectives,” said the old moonshiner’s daughter, As she saw them xo towards her papa’s still, 7 does not wish to respond to calls for his medical skill, Where it nestled in the moonlight, by the rippling, rolling water, It happened that one day there appeared at the door a caller of a very Just without the sombre shadow of the hill, different kind. He was the agent of some religious society, anxious rather to “Remind me of Al Raschid, the Caliph old, returning bleed others than to be bled himself. So, naturally, he was eager to post himself From his travels in disguise, his chiefest fad, . as to the church relations of his proposed subject in order to make the apdeal Because," her cheek with shame at such a break outrageous burning, more effectual. They certainly are going to Bagdad.” . is first question began in the usual way:—‘t Is—er—Mr. Hammersleigh at —New Orleans Times-Democrat. . doorbell, has to explain that though the proprietor of the establishment is a duly graduated physician he is not at present practicing his profession, and Two Irishmen, who were known to be great friends, were observed one day “Sure an’ he is, sorr.” . pass one another on the street without greeting. ‘Why, Mulcahy,” asked a “Can you tell me whether or not he is a Christian?” friend, have you,and Mulhooly quarreled?” ‘* That we have not,” said Mr. To Bridget this was something of a poser, but she rose supremely to the Mulcahy, decisively. ‘* There seemed to be a coolness between you when you occasion with her accustomed answer: passed just now.” hat’s the insurance of our friendship,” replied Mulcahy, “Sure, an’ he is, yer honor, But he’s not practicin’ it late! Mulhooly and I are that devoted to wan another that we can’t bear the thought —Boston Budget. a quarrel, an’ as we are both quick-tempered, we've resolved not to shpake to - ; ¢ another at alll'—Wave, A PHIADELPHIA physician tells this story of a temperance crank: “A couple of weeks ago he fancied himself sick and sent for me. I told him Jupce (to a couple sentenced for fighting): Wave you anything to say? that nothing really ailed him, ‘What you need,’ I said, ‘is a stimulant —a MaLe DEFENDANT: I would like my wife to commence her term in prison little whiskey now and then will get you outdoors in a day or two.’ ‘Whiskey! after Lam released.—German Exchange. he gasped; ‘good heavens, doctor, the folks wouldn't stand that. Why, I'ma Pouice Justice: Why are you certain that the prisoners threw eggs.at you? Prohibitionist!’ ‘Oh, that’s all right,’ I said; ‘Tl send you around a jug of *agonDiat y 1 cangit theey'in the acteDetrow Free Press, good stuff, and you must take it in hot water, say three to six times a day." ‘But, if I send for hot water,’ he said, ‘they'd suspect. I mean my family and the THE Saunterer's friend, the Doctor, has retired from practice. A few servants.’ [ thought a minute, and then I said: ‘You shave, don't you? Just ago he inherited a large fortune, and since then his time has been so occupied send down your shaving mug and get the hot water in that.’ This was on Sat- managing his estates that it is impossible for him to continue his professional urday, On Monday I called again. Everybody in the house appeared to be work, Not only has he taken in his shingle, but he also discourages the practice greatly excited. ‘What's the row ?' I inquired; ‘how's the patient 2° The of calling him “doctor;” so that in his neighborhood the title has been whole family answered in choru: Oh, he’s all right physically, doctor, but enerally dropped. he's out of his mind completely. He's been shaving once every seven minutes However, every few days the Irish maid-of-all-work, when she answers the all night and allay.’ He recovered."—Argonaut. 4 4 ° ° ° ° 4 ° ° GRANDE [MAISON pE BLANC Established in Paris 18 TABLE AND BED LINE woven by hand and bleached on the grass. PENNSYLVANIA RAILROAD co. Lace Curtains, Centre Pieces, Bed Personally Conducted Tours. Matchless in Every Feature. | Spreads, Quilts, Handkerchiefs. CALIFORNIA. | Three tours to CALIFORNIA and the PACIFIC COAST will leave New York | TROUSSEAUX i} | THEY CALLED, BUT THEY DIDN'T WEAR KNOX HATS. Wow!!! and Philadelphia January 27, February 24, and March 27, 1897. Five weeks in California on the first tour, and four weeks onthe second. Passengers on the third tour will return on regular trains within nine months, Stop will be made at New Orleans for Mar Gras festivities on the second tour. ; ’ FLORIDA. We invite inspection of our goods, feeling sure Jacksonville tours, allowing two weeks in Florida, will leave New York and Phila- | you will find the quality much higher and delphia fanvary 26, February gand 23, and March 9, 1897. Rate, covering expenses en the prices lower than elsewhere. route in both directions, $50.00 from New York, and'$48.00 from Philadelphia. 391 Fifth Ave., New York. a specialty. WASHINGTON. Tours, each covering a period of three days, will leave New York apd Philadelphia a March 11, April : and'22, and May 13, 1897. Rates, inclu Fa ee erry ary earch dtowPmodation at the best Washiogton Hotels, $14.50 from New York, and $r1.so from Philadelphia. OLD POINT COMFORT TOURS, Returning direct or via Richmond and Washington, al leave New Yorkand Philadelphia January 28, February 20, March 18 and April 1s, 1897. porno For detailed itineraries and other information, apply at ticket agencies or address Geo. W. Boyd, Asst. Gen'l Pass, Agent, Broad Street Station, Philadelphia. comicbooks.com