Life — January 7, 1897 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

* LIFE: DONALD MACSLUSHEY IN PHILADELPHIA! R. DONALD MACSLUSHEY, our distinguished , guest, has arrived safely in Philadelphia. It is perhaps needless to say that his journey was a continuation of ovations from an enthusiastic people. In Newark, women fainted as the train arrived. Cries of ‘Dialect! Dialect! More Dialect!" rent the air along the route, as the immortal Donald was whirled southward on his journey. At Philadelphia all business was abandoned. Crowds blocked the streets for many squares in the vicinity of the station. The freedom of the city was presented him the next day at an impressive gathering of Pennsylvania's noblest repre- sentatives, on which occasion the Hon. Truefitt Blunt made the opening address. In the course of his remarks Mr. Blunt observed, with an enthusiasm beautifully repressed : **Who can tell us why we go mad and lose our heads over every harmless scribe that comes to us from Scotland? Why do we blubber over this pathos by the yard ; these tales of ye) Lp ON AND OFF THE STAGE. The Great Softspine (to his wi DO HAND ME MY GLOVE, DEAR. UM ALWAYS LETTING IT FALL. A RESIDENCE IN THE SUBURBS OF PHILADELPHIA as IT APPEARED AFTER THE WOMEN HAD RUSHED IN TO SHAKE HANDS WITH DONALD MACSLUSHEY. THE INTERIOR. parsons, garnished with that least attractive of all human lingoes, the Scottish dialect?" As these words were uttered, eight hundred bagpipes burst forth into a glorious discordance, and women wept by hundreds. But Mr. Macslushey calmed the multitude, and re- sponded with celestial dignity : “I dinna ken, mon, oonless it’s because yer a nation o hysterical d—n fules that gush over onythin’ wat's