Life, 1896-10-15 · page 5 of 18
Life — October 15, 1896 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Life Magazine Page 283 This page contains a humorous narrative essay titled "My Foresight" about purchasing an engagement ring. The accompanying illustrations satirize the social awkwardness of diamond shopping and masculine discomfort with jewelry transactions. The main illustration shows a woman with two small dogs, likely representing the narrator's fiancée. A secondary sketch depicts a jeweler at his counter—a common target of satire for perceived dishonesty and inflated pricing. The joke centers on the narrator's naïveté: he believes the clerk's claims about diamond weight and value, only to realize he's been overcharged. The satire targets both masculine ignorance about gems and jewelers' reputation for deceptive sales practices—a social anxiety that remains recognizable today. The quip "Can a mother's tender care cease toward the child she-bear?" appears to be unrelated wordplay.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
*LIFE: MY FORESIGHT. LTHOUGH I was, of course, very happy that the necessity had been forced upon me—it was a leap-year proposal—yet it was with some misgivings that I started out to buy the ring. I am nota judge of gems; but fortunately the decision, as regards kind, had not been left with me, for she had distinctly stated that she preferred diamonds. And yet, my ignorance of the merits and values of diamonds being so dense, it was with considerable diffidence that I a entered the portals—portals has a rich Oriental sound, suitable for a dealer in gems—of the jeweler and asked to see some diamond rings, suitable for engagements. ‘What kind, sir?” asked the polite clerk. ‘* Marquise or—" ‘No, indeed,” I interrupted, decisively. ‘* She's a quee ‘Solitaire, then?" suggested the clerk, cough- ing violently. “Certainly,” I said, indignantly. ‘* You don’t suppose I'm engaged to half a dozen, do you?” I felt sorry at once that I had spoken so sharply to him, for he blushed so furiously that his face became purple, and from the way his shoulders shook, I could see that he was very sensibly af- fected by my scornful question. With a muttered apology, he produced a tray full of diamonds— worth about as much, I should judge, as the rarer trayful against an ace-high flush. “Do you sell ‘em by size?” I asked, as I ex- amined them, "ney B. Neison “\CAN A MOTHER'S TENDER CARE CEASE TOWARD THE CHILD SHE-BEAR ?” “Well, partly, and partly by weight,” he replied. “Indeed!” I exclaimed, surprised. ‘I should think it would be easier to sell ’em by count.” I never saw such a sensitive clerk as this. I had glanced rather sharply into his face as I spoke, for I had a dim suspicion that he might be guying me with such a preposterous statement—there was not a single diamond in the lot that would weigh half an ounce, I am sure—and again his face got red as he saw my sus- picion, and he choked and gasped as though his confusion was almost unbearable. So to ease his embarrassment, I picked up one of the rings, and said 1 thought that would do, and how much was it. ‘*Seven hundred and fifty dollars,” he said. “ What?" I shouted, in my amazement. ‘' Here, I'll give you two hundred, and that’s the last cent I'm going to spend ona ring.” He shook his head, and, picking out another ring, handed it to me with the remark, ‘* Here is one that I'll let you have for two hundred.” “Oh, come off,” I jeered, for, I give you my word, the diamond was not a quarter—no, I do not think it was more than an eighth Isaacstein (who has lately moved from the Bowery Of an inch in diameter. to Fifth Avenue): GOTT IN HIMMELL! VAT 1S DOT? Well, after we had dickered for an hour or so, I was over- comicbooks.com