Life — October 15, 1896 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

*LIFE-: made England quake as she has not quivered since Norman William landed at Hastings. They carried the American flag and palate up to the gates of Windsor, and shook the British breweries to their foundations. Lord Linsey Woolsey—a warrior as bold as the most cruel and relentless Ancient—saw them, supped with them, and hastened to the throne. ‘Your Majesty,” he exclaimed, in agitated tones, “call off Salisbury ; apologize to Venezuela ; recog- nize Monroe ; lend our gold to Cleveland. We cannot fight a nation of men like these ; they are invincible; their legs are hollow ; their palates are Saharas ; they are more eloquent than our most eminent pugilists.” That visit cowed Salisbury, and settled England's war fever. Such is the A. & H. A. Company of Boston, which is now back in its home, more militant than ever, crouching like tigers in the shadow of the ancient Codfish, waiting to be hurled on an unsuspect- ing nation when the fateful hour arrives. How can this danger be averted? How can mili- tarism be dissipated ? Only two methods of destroying the terrors of Boston are kuown, The A. & H. A, Company must be distributed over the land as cam- paign orators, to be torn to pieces by the enraged populace, or every brewery, vine-press and distillery in the land must be destroyed. The details of this patriotic work should be managed by a syndicate, and the task of luring these warriors to destruction be left to Mr. Godkin. Only thus can American militarism be cradicated. Joseph Smith. THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YALE AND BRYAN. I N a national campaign, next to the stump speaker and the editor of a country newspaper, the brass band makes the most noise. But, strange as it may seem, the band spreads abroad more patriotic and less self-seeking sentiments than cither of its rivals in this line of business. f T/ In the late unpleasantness which occurred between Mr. Bryan and the Yale students we have heard the opinions of the followers of both sides, but little has The Spirit of his Wife: BEWARE! BEWARE! BEWARE! Gilligan: WHERE—D'VE—WANT—ME—TER—BE—MARY AN been said in regard to the attitude of the band. As Mr. Bryan left the platform, amid the thundering cheers of the Yale men (for McKinley), the band, with unusual forethought, played an appro- priate tune, which was, “‘ Arrah, go on; you're only foolin’.” — The question has come to the minds of some people as to whom the band ad- dressed its sentiment. Let the minds of all be at rest. for without doubt the band was absolutely impartial. Although the senti- ment was meant for both, it was received in a different spirit by reach. The students y? knew they were “only foolin’.”” Mr. Bryandid not know that he was. comicbooks.com