Life — October 8, 1896 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

T SERS AT WLLif A COMPETITIVE examination of applicants for the positions of porter and errand boy in the Boston Public Library was held recently. One of the candidates for porter shocked the examiners by his display of frivolity in evading questions which he could not answer. He did not get the position, The paper as printed is in part as follows : Q. Where is Chicago? New Yorker. Q. Where is Cleveland? A. He won't tell. Q. Describe a feasible course for the circumnaviga- tion of the globe, mentioning all bodies of water which would be passed through. A. Ina balloon. No waters would be passed through. Q. What was the cause of the war of 1812 and of the Mexican war? A. Love for fighting, with excuses. Q. How may the races of mankind be chiefly di- vided ? A. Losers and winners. Q. What does the Indo-Germanic family include ? A. Indians and Germans, but in Kansas the combina- tion is said to be not a success. Q. Name the present poet laureate? A. A western paper lately said his name was ** William Watson.” Q. Why is piracy now practically extinct? A. ‘Through change of name. Except in the book business, it is now called “diplomacy,” “ trusteeship,” etc. Q. What, in a few words, are transcendentalism, epicureanism and utilitarianism? A. The first means thinking on the roof while living in the basement; the second means living high on $7.s0a week ; the third is the study of how to do so. Q. Name in chronological order the various peo- A. 1 don't know. Lama ples which have inhabited England. A. England has been inhabited by English only. Various foreign peo- ple arrived, but immediately became English. Q. What does the present British Empire include? A. Everything it could grab, except the United States, Venezuela, Ireland and some of the surrounding planets.—Baltimore Sun. Nor were attempts on the part of the candidate to promote economy in the necessary part of electioneering always successful, says the author of “A Life Spent in Ireland,” as witness the following account of the trials of a candidate in a borough that has since been dis- franchised for corruption: When Mr. Hemphill was canvassing Cashel he found that a party of electors, known as “commoners,” numbering some thirteen or fourteen, were notoriously corrupt and always sold their vote tothe highest bidder. Their usual price was £20 per vote. Hemphill requested the priest to preach on the sin of trafficking on the franchise, and the priest com- plied and denounced corrupt traffic in votes as a mortal sin, Next day Hemphill met one of the commoners, and, anxious to learn what effect the sermon had pro- duced on these venal gentlemen, he asked the man whether he had been at mass on the previous day. “I was, your Honor.” ‘Was not that sermon against bribery excellent?” ‘It was an elegant sermon en- tirely, your Honor.” ‘ Will it do good, do you think 2” “*T think it will make the election run very close, your Honor.” “How so?” ‘Why, we always got £20 for a vote before we knew it was a sin; but, as his rever- ence says we'll be damned for selling our votes, we can't for the future take less than £40.” NTURY COMPANY, NEW YORK, S§iNeBAd, SMITH & CO. By Albert Stearns, Daphne ; or, The Pipes of Arcadia. By Margy Merington. Daddy Jake, the Runaway, By “Uncle Remus” (Joel The Metropotitans. Paper Doll Poems. By Pauline King. A Shadow Show. By P.S. Newell. THE MACMILLAN COMPANY, NEW YORK AND Lostey| Sir George Tressady, Two Vols. By Mrs, Hampig Ward. and other short Handler Haris). | "9 By Jeanie Drake. Robert Helmont. By Alphonse Daudet Lona J. M. Dent and Company.) a) Il, S$. STONE AND COMPANY, CHICAGO. Artie, By George Ade. The Fearsome Island, By Albert Kinross. STONE AND KIMBALL, NEW YORK. W. V., Her Book, and various verses, By Willa Canton: The Washer of the Ford. By Fiona Macleod, JUSTICE PRATT often said that there were too = law books, Meeting a young law student who bad offered himself for the admission examinatioa, Jes Pratt asked him what he bad read in preparation fo: ordeal. The youthful limb of the law named atoxt the elementary treatises from Blackstone's * taries” to dat read Woolsey’s “' Political Science,” Lieber's Code Political Ethics,” and, he said, ‘all the leading ax cited.” My heavens, boy!” exclaimed Justice Ps read enough to ruin your chances as a lay Evacresx Acree, Brentano, $7 Avenue de,!'Opera, ‘Clarastrase, The Inter- Bream’s Building. Chancery Lane, a Exchange, 1 Mayency, cows Germany, Agents for Germany, Austria and Switzerland, LIFE IS REGULARLY ON SALE ABROAD, Condon 2 ww. | PUBLISHING OFFICES, a an 30 Newcastle Street, Strand; P M ll | PARNELL & BLAKE. ariSian (Hine 63 Southampton Row; = and atallthe principal news- dealers, Glasgow. 2. . Messrs. WM. & CO., 15 Royal Exchange Place. Pars 2... BRENTANO'S, 37 Ave. de l'Opera. Berlin 2 2. wwe A. FREYBOURG, 36 Zimmer Strasse ; GEORGE STILKE. 3 Dorotheen Strasse. And at the leading newsdealers through- German: i AVING just received a com? out yy witreriand | TA iae of new Importations, 1” and France. invite inspection of the same. Respectfully. JANES L. ME! ~e a5) perry | | “eIoRY Soar LOUISE&C ANNOUNCE THEIR Fall Opening IN IMPORTED By blending, in the home supplies, ‘The highest worth and widest scope. Now Ivory, being pure and good For laundry, bath and toilet, would Save fully half the bills for soap. TUESDAY, 6th OCTOBEE And following days. 294 FIFTH AVENUE. Gotng abroad! The best and pleasantest antl- dote for seasickness fs Abbott's genuine Origina Angostura Bitters, At Drugglsts, : PORTEOUS DALY'S, GEISHA Mat. Wed. & Sat. at 2. LITTLE CIGARS. 7 ALL IMPORTED | TOBACCO. HIGHEST IN PRICE, FINEST IN QUALITY. 25c. a Bundle, ro in Bundle. Trial Package in Pouch by mail for 25¢. H, ELLIS & CO., Baltimore, Md. Tue American Tonacco Co,, Successor. Chicago and West—North Shore Limited—The NEW YORK CENIR comicbooks.com Evgs. at 8.15, THE GROSVENOR FIFTH AVE, AND TENTH ST., NEW YORK CITY. One of the most luxuriously furnished hotels in the country. Engagements may |now be made by the month, year or tran- sieotly. Restaurant open to the public. {Write for illustrated booklet. M. J. SHEA. | JAMES L. McEWEN TAILOR, LIFE BUILDING, 19 WEST 3ls TELEPHONE CALL, 1760 AGENT FOR SMALPAGE & SON