Life — September 17, 1896 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

*LIFE: LIFE’S FOR PRESIDENT. TICKET. FOR VICE-PRESIDENT. JOHN W. GOFF. W® learn that both Mr. Goff and Mr. Comstock are too busy at present to write letters of acceptance, but a little thing like this need not stand in the way. It only goes to show how, in their devotion to the cause of the peo- ple, they cannot stop to give their views—fearing that to do so might interfere even in the slightest degree with the sacred cause of justice, or the suppression of the classics. Their views are so well known, however, it is an casy matter to be ‘regular in this case, and we give herewith the formal letters of our candidates : To Charles A. Dana, E. 1. Godkin, Whitelaw Reid and others. GENTLEME In pursuance of the promise made to your com- mittee when notified of my nomination for President, I beg to submit this formal acceptance of that high honor, with one or two pro- visions which, however slight, it is just as well to have understood in the beginning, In the first place the White House, while nodoubt ample enough for Jefferson, Lincoln, Cleveland and others, would not exactly suit my requirements. I should expect to have it enlarged and refurnished throughout; although, on second thought, it might be well to build a new one. By doing this I could have the plans drawn up to suit by a competent architect. This ought to be done at once as you have only until March 4th to build in. And now in regard to the little matter of salary, To be candid, I feel that I am worth more than has heretofore been paid and I would suggest that this matter be gone into at once. Fifty thousand dollars a year is well enough, but there are not so many perquisites attached to this office as there might be, and I have my future toconsider. With these conditions I should be glad to give a few hours of my time each day to running the Government. e . JOHN W. GOFF, per Lire. GENTLEMEN:—It is almost needless to say that I accept the nom- ination as I have needed for sometime a complete rest from my arduous duties. As Mr. Goff has made some suggestions 1 would also like to aad one. Would it not be possible to have a new set of pictures put in the new White House and also have a nice lot of statues, properly clad, in the grounds? For four years this will be our home, so to speak, and I am used to looking on the best things. I don't suppose any man on earth is any better able to locate them than I am; and those | naked columns at the White House must have trowsers. ANTHONY COMSTOCK, Per Lirr. THE ONLY TIME. ITYMAN: Have you running water in your house? Supurss: When it rains. Wrmbibire sta ff SOMETHING UNUSUAL, THE CAT, FROM LIFE'S ENT DISCOVERIES OF EARLY EGYPTIAN JOKES. comicbooks.com