Life — August 27, 1896 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE THEY ALL STOPPED THE CLOCK. Aw hour before sundown I came along to a man sitting on a log by the roadside and asked him where I would be likely to get lodgings for the night. “Waal,” he slowly replied after looking me over, ‘you might git in at Steve Taylor's, but he and his wife don't speak, and it would be rather un- pleasant fur you,” "Yes, it would. “You might git in at Sam Burton's, but he and his wife don’t speak, and you would feel kinder embarrassed, I guess ?” “* Yes.” “* Sile Adams is allus ready to take everybody in, but he and his wife don’t speak to each other, you see?” “1 see.” “There's Joe Harper, two miles ahead, and you'd be sure of a good bed there, but Joe and his wife haven't spoken to each other fur months. You wouldn't enjoy yourself there. “* There's John Richards, just across the river, but it’s the same there. I saw John yesterday, and he said he'd see his ole woman in Texas before he'd speak first.” ‘* How is it in your case ?" I asked. “Ob, I could take you in all right and would be glad to do it, but me and the ole woman don’t even look at each other. “ Something queer must have happened in this neighborhood to get all the husbands and wives mad at each other ?”” “Yes, sunthin’ did. A singin’ skule teacher struck this nayburhood about a year ago, and in order to git folks interested he put up a chromeo to be gives, to the best lookin’ woman.” “And someone got it, and of course that made all the—" “No, nobody got it,” he interrupted. Every durned one of the thirteen women thought she was entitled to it, and they turned out and mobbed the skule teacher and throwed the chromeo into the river.” “* But why did they get mad at their husbands ? “Oh, we got together and voted to buy an eight-day clock fur the home. liest woman in the settlement, and the blamed thing has passed around fosr times over, and has had seven of the days and most of the wheels kicked out of it, Guess you'll either hev to ride on about eight miles farther or take to the woods, stranger."—Exchange. AT Marlborough it used to be the custom to assign to every boy on entrance anumber, with which his books, clothes and other possessions were marke { A good mother, on whom this practice had made a deep impression, got it into her head that boys were known to the authorities only by their numbers, and, when calling on her son's housemaster, introduced herself as the mother of 6, ‘Thank heaven, ma'am," exclaimed M. Sellaby, the most innocent and oxt- spoken of men, ‘I'm not the father of as many.”—Argonaut. Mrs. BLaNk, of Ohio, gave a luncheon a week ago to some Ohio delegates to the Christian Endeavor Convention. There was ice cream for dessert, and the hostess noticed that one of her guests had eaten all her portion. “ Dear Miss X.,"" said she, ‘do let me give you some more ice cream.” “ Well,” replied Miss X., diffidently, ‘* just a mouthful, if you please.” ‘ Mary,” said the hostess to the maid, ‘fill Miss X.'s plate."— Washington Post. WE SELL THE BEST RIFLE “%? SAVAGE .303 SIX SHOOTER. SMOKELESS POWDER. If you want a good thing send for our yellow catalogue. SAVAGE REPEATING ARMS €0., Sita, FOR QUIGK RETURNS use the KANSAS CITY STAR The Weekly Star has over 110,000 paid in advance subscribers. Circulation guaranteed to exceed 63,000 Daily and Sunday. Best Price. LIGHT TRICYCLES BEST PRICE. FOR WOMEN. Ask any dealer. N.Y. PERFECT IN MATERIAL AND WORKMANSHIP. .. Machines Built to Order. Che Cinkham Cycles, 306-310 West 59th Street, NEW YORK. Rae's Lucca Oil The Perfection of Olive Oil SS Il tell you that Olive Oil, ue and sweet, is one of the most lesome of foods. Rae’s Oil is pure and Your physician who! ery sweet, as testified to by numerous awards and wide repute. A trial will convince you of its superior excellence as a food product. Guaranteed Absolutely Pure by | | 1s the standard in a S. RAE & CO., : snd tee 3 ' Established 1836. Leghorn, Italy. comicbooks.com