Life, 1896-08-20 · page 5 of 20
Life — August 20, 1896 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Page 133 Analysis This page contains political satire about the 1880 presidential election. The top section presents "Life's Ticket" featuring photographs of John W. Goff (for President) and Anthony Comstock (for Vice President), accompanied by anecdotes praising their character. The satirical intent is unclear from the text alone, but Life magazine used mock endorsements to ridicule candidates or public figures. Comstock was a real anti-vice crusader known for aggressive moral campaigns; the anecdote about him destroying art suggests Life mocked his zealotry. The lower cartoon depicts two men examining luggage, with dialogue about a fly. The connection to the election ticket above is unclear, though it may relate to character themes the anecdotes establish.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
*LIFE: 133 LIFE’S TICKET. nized, was born of honest parents, who, could they have FOR PRESIDENT FOR VICE-PRESIDENT. foreseen their offspring’ $ future, might have been tempted to more drastic methods in his bringing up. While still a child he once entered a museum and saw a beau- tiful statue of Diana, This statue, although greatly admired for its purity and artistic excellence, filled the mind of the youthful Anthony with such foul and unholy thoughts that he resolved, there and then, that his life should be devoted to the destruction, whenever possible, of all unclad effigies. And this great and good man, who seems to lack only intelligence and charity, has pushed his holy mission so far as to suppress not merely Statues but literary classics when he has had the power. MODERN IMPROVEMENTS. WAS at the architect's this afternoon inspecting the plans for our new house,” said Mr. Needham. JOHN W. GOFF. ANTHONY COMSTOCK. “Did you examine all the details?" asked his wife, “I looked after the important features—the billiard room, the wine cellar and the bicycle closet.” “cc I" is plain to all that our political structure is about to be shaken to its foundations and that the battle of civilization is being waged around us. The platform of one party has aimed directly at the Supreme Court of the United States, while that of the other does not even hint at the direful consequences to public morals of the modern bathing suits, or suggest any remedy for the prevention of the sale of plaster casts of the Venus de Milo. It is then with genuine pleasure that we direct attention to the merits of our candidates as being men who can safely be intrusted with all that is necessary in our Government. To show that even in the very young the characteristic traits which later on become the dominent forces in character, are often well developed, we append two striking anec- dotes of our worthy candidates. ANECDOTE OF JOHN W. GOFF, When this eminent person was a boy of ten he chanced one day to see a little girl trampled under foot by a vicious horse. When the horse departed, leaving the child in great agony and crying loudly for help, this future judge straightway fell upon the girl, and was delivering telling blows upon her eyes * and mouth, when strangers interposed and dragged him off. Upon being questioned as to his reasons for such an unusual proceeding, he replied: ‘It is obviously the will of the Almighty that this girl should be punished, and it is not for me to ques- tion the motives of a Higher Being.” How truly does this touching answer foretell the exquisite sense of justice that has since distinguished this Tex, 1,7 marvelous man! ANECDOTE OF ANTHONY COMSTOCK. This genial destroyer, whose extraordinary gift “Au I pizzy! You SEE DAT FLY 2?” fi ees - “ DistinctLy.” for extracting a filthy significance from the most “WELL, HE'S BEEN DARE SINCE MORNIN’, I AINT HAD TIME TO BRUSIL innocent works of art is now so universally recog- ist oFF.” comicbooks.com