Life — July 16, 1896 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BURNETT'S KALLISTON, “Double, double toll and trouble; i | Tue dry, parched feeling of the face, Fire bum and cauldron bubble. | after » day spent on the deck of an ocean That's the old way of making soup. Put your meat and steamer, will be refreshed by an appli- soup bones in the “cauldron” and fuss over it for hours, cation or Burnott’s Kalliston. For sale by all Druggists. Josep BuANcrT Co., Boston, Mass. Extract > BEEF | : —7 \ —— saves you all that “toil and trouble.” Add boiling water to the Extract WINDS (ey I ¥ @ and you have, instantly, a really palatable Bouillon or Clear Beef OR Hi EL | Soup. No trouble or mystery about it. Anyone can do it. Bth Ave. 46th to 47th Sts. NoY. i THE COOLEST HOTEL IN NEW YORK. Armour & Company, Chicago. Unsurpassed in location and perfect in all appoint: ments, Free Coach and Baggage to and from Grand Central Depot by giving us notice. Am- erican plan $4.00 per day and upward. European i lan $t.s0 per day and upward, Music during DEPENDS ON THE AmoUNT.—"* If I ever get hold of | Sinner, Ste travelling Poblic will find this a Rinks I'll thrash him so that his own mother wouldn't | delightful, cool, and homelike hotel. WARREN F. LELAND, Proprietor, “What's the matter 2" “He's been slandering me, He says that I beat him - out of five dollars in a poker game." “Notat all. I heard the remark myself.” “Then what did he say ?” “He said that you beat him out of five thousand dol- lars in a wheat deal.” | “Oh, well, then I suppose it’s all right. I could hardly believe that he was the kind of man who would go around telling stories that reflected on me in that way."—Chicago Post. %z THEKE are probably few ministers who would resent the "left-handed " compliment once given to a preacher by Mark Twain, as chronicled ina lively article on the funny man. One Sunday when Mark had happened to specially like the sermon he heard in church, he lingered at the door after service, waiting for the minister to come out, in order to give him a pleasant word, which he did in this fashion : “I mean no offence, but I feel obliged to tell you that the preaching this morning has been of a kind that I can spare. I go to church to pur- sue my own trains of thought. But to-day I couldn't do it” You have interfered with me. You have forced me to attend to you, and have lost me a whole half hour. 1 beg that it may not occur again."— Wave. iBCWCwWCXiy“sWb«iWoww WWweé« Iw ARTFORD TIRES are the best of pure rubber, the best of fabric. Put together for safety, durability, ease. Other makers imitate in vain. The secret is ours. The tires are yours, on any bicycle. They are the original single-tubes. cost mos. DEMAND THEM WORTH MOST. OF ANY DEALER. THE HARTFORD RUBBER WORKS CO. HARTFORD, CONN. New York. Philadelphia. Chicago. WWW Ww—wWéwo«*~*“ow~”w“wiwswi«<*SW~*’’ -DWiwiioniwWwl WWW { Dk. Eaton, president of Madison University forty years ago, was beloved by the students and his good opinion courted above all things. One commencement day, the student who had delivered the valedictory ap- proached the doctor and timidly asked him what he thought of the effort. The doctor looked at him a mo- ment, and then said, slowly: Edward, it you would pluck a few of the feathers from the wings of your im- agination and stick them in the tail of your judgment, you would make better speeches."—Argonaut. \ j ] Z Z 7 7 7 Y Z Y Z ]} Z Z ] Z A Y A Yankee in Ceylon, desiring to take a bath, asked a native to show him to a place that was free from croco- diles. The native took him close to the mouth of the | 66 ” river, where our Yankee enjoyed a nice refreshing bath. Women and Children First! On coming out of the water he inquired of his guide how ‘When a Ship is wrecked at sea, women this locality happened to be free from crocodiles. and children have the first care. It ** Crocodile 'fraid of shark.” replied the Cinghalese ; should be the same on shore — in life— **too many sharks here !"— Ueber Land und Meer. always pec the family against want with rel ife Insurance . . Mk. ANSTEY the author of ‘Vice Versa," tells a u story to illustrate the inappropriate way in which Scrip-| 71€——- = ture texts are sometimes used. Ata small seaside resort e The 6 ; [ in England a generous citizen presented a number of ru en tia The only strictly {first free seats for the promenade, each adorned with an iron Class bic > Jantern on | label stating that Mr. Jones of this town presented % : : themarke these seats for the public use. The sea is his and he| insures the whole family — Children, eeIMarKe made it."—Exchange. Women and Men from ages 3 to 70. 1 eres | J . / Amounts from $15 to $50,000. Pre- His Ipea oF Size.—" Talking about chickens,” miums payable weekly, quarterly, IDGEPORT said the rural citizen who habitually exaggerates, “I've | fialfryearly “or yearly, ‘sccording t0 got the most remarkable hen in the country.” plan selected “A good layer ?” Conn “That's her strong point. Why, sir,” he said, get- Full Information as to —_ ting excited as he talked, ‘‘that fowl, sir, lays eggs as lans sent free on request. big as hatlstones."— Washington Star. SEND FOR CIKCULAR Nu. 47- es x 3 The Prudential Tnscrance Co. CORPUS LEAN ABSOLUTELY HARMLESS. a retvee finply stopping the fat protecting of America, Home Office: Newark, N.J. seh wins injary. to health: MADE agen ti aa =] JOHN F. DRYDEN, Prostdent. ‘vrtimesisis. LAE. Marsh Oo. fen the fat and reduces weight at cme ASSETS over $15,180,000. INCOME, $12,600,000. 9815 Madison Sq, Phileda, Pa. Geld by all Draggtete. SURPLUS, $3,300,000. comicbooks.com