Life — July 16, 1896 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Apropos of Embas- sador Bay- ard’s habit of monopo- lizing con- versation while at dinners, re- ceptions, r in official intercourse, it is related that at a certain inner-party in Washington, Mr. Bayard entertained e company with his views on a variety of subjects, in- uding Japan. One of the guests was a member of the panese legation, After listening to Mr. Bayard’s ordy discourse on Japan as long as he could, the art- ss young Japanese, turning to his fair neighbor at the ble, remarked: ‘*What a wonderful man is your cretary of State. He seems to know something about erything—except Japan !"—New York Tribune. Mr. Epison has only once tried to make a speech. was before a girls’ seminary, where he had agreed to cture on electricity. He had engaged a friend named dams to operate the apparatus while he talked; but hen the “* Wizard" arose before his audience, he felt p dazed that he simply said: “Ladies, Mr. Adams will bw address you on electricity, and I will demonstrate hat he has to say with the apparatus.""—Argonaut. “Darttxo,” he cried, throwing aside all reserve, do you not know me?” The girl flung herscif upon his bosom. “Your face is familiar,” she sobbed, n't quite recall your name.” ‘although 1 Detroit Tribune. TWO PATHS TO KNOWLEDGE. “We learn to do by doing,” I think the song doth run ; But to my mind More things we find And learn, by being “done.” — University Courier. A HYPOCHONDRIAC friend from the country, who was staying with Fatner Healy at Bray in the hope of obtaining reliet from chronic dyspepsia, was one day taking a walk along the beach with his host. “T have derived relief from drinking a tumbler of salt-water fresh from the tide,” said the invalid, solemn- ly. "Do you think I might take a second ?” Father Healy put on the intent expression which was his “thinking cap.” “Well,” said he, with equal seriousness, ‘I don’t think a second would be missed.""— Youth's Companion. SENATOR PALMER, of Illinois, was asked by some- body the other day for whom he would vote in case the Chicago Convention should declare for free silver and the Republican Convention straddle the money question. “* Well,” said the Senator, ** I'd be like an old farmer down in Illinois I met a short time ago. I asked him what he would do with his vote with two such candidates {or Governor to choose between as Altgeld and Tanner. “+ Well,’ answered the farmer, ‘I reckon I'd have to winter my vote.’ "—Washington Post. AN admirer of Rossini sent the composer at Christ- mas-time a fine Stilton cheese and an oratorio which the donor had recently composed. In a laconic letter of thanks Rossini wrot A thousand thanks! [ like the cheese very much."—Argonant. ‘1 pon'T ask you to remove your hat, miss,” plain. tively spoke the little man in the seat behind her, “ but i you will kindly refrain from wabbling your head 1 will take itasa favor. 1 am used tothe high hat, but I an not accustomed to the wabble, and it confuses me and obstructs my view of the gentleman inthe orchestra who performs on the kettle-drum.” Sir!” “ Thank you, miss. confess the wabble did bother mea little. obliges. I can see him quite distinctly no Idon’t mind the high hat, but I Ever so much I beg you won't apologize, miss. It was fentirely inadvertent on your part, I am sure, and—" If you say another word I'll call the usher ! “ Bless you, miss, that will not be necessary! I'm acquainted with all the ushers. Any of them would be glad to oblige me by asking the gentleman who operates the kettle-drum to move a little to the right, so as to give me a better view of him, but I can see with perfect ease now, thanks to your having quit—" “Usher!” “Tl call him for you, miss. Here, Jerry 1” 1 am entirely capable of calling him, sir! I am going to ask him to bring the manager of the hall!” I assure you, miss, that will not be necessary either. The manager is my son-in-law. He will merely instruct the usher to—ah, thanks!" For the young woman, trembling with indignation, had removed her hat.—Chicago Tribune. OVERHEARD IN THE LonBy “* But there are two more acts.” “Tknow it, That’s why 1am going home.” Sifter. I'm going home.” — Texas For sale by all Newsdealers in Great Britain. The Inter. national New ‘esa Bream's Building. Chancery Lane, GENTS. London, E. 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