Life — July 2, 1896 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A GERMAN in a Western town got into trouble with a quarrelsome man who had been a terror to his neighborhood, and left him dead. A young and inex- perienced lawyer undertook the defence of the German, and just before the case was to be tried he found, to:his dismay, that the jury was composed of eleven combative-looking countrymen of the murdered man, the twelfth being a Ger- was immediately raised, and the German was ap- proached with a promise that, if he managed to get the accused off with a simple verdict of manslaughter, it would be worth $1,000 to him. All he had to do was The verdict came in “ manslaugh- man, A ‘defence fund” to stick to the one word “ manslaughter.” and the joyful lawyer for the defence could not get the $: Shaking hands with him and transferring the money, man’s hands too quickly. he slapped him on the back and said “You did nobly ! agree to simple manslaughte: “Vell, I should say so—dey vas all for acquittal !""— 77¢-Bits, THe subject of the conversation had taken several routes, and finally the topic of insurance was reached by the guests, the hostess and host at the dinner- table. “Papa has his life hold. “Is that so?" asked one of the visitors, showi precocity. gazed fondly and proudly. “*Yes'm ; for fifteen thousand dollars.” * What has he done that for?" sured,” So'mamma can buy a new husband when he's dead.""—Loussville Courter- Journal, Pat: Judy? Do yet'ink ye'd inj‘y solichude ? Bippy: wid me.—Boston Courier. You must have hadaternble time making those men spoke up the little girl, the pet of the house- g interest in the evidence of Everybody present looked at the child, and the father and mother It’s a quare loife those haermits lade, so it is Sure, an Oi'd inj’y it well enough ef Oi had some one to share it tay style.—/ndianapolis Journal, A CERTAIN family, whose home is in the suburbs of London, have in their employ a cook, whose ways are invariably so methodical and her cooking s near perfection that, were she to leave her present home, one-half of the mis tresses in the district would be eager to secure her services. Never by ary chance has dinner been late at Myrtle Villa, or the joint under or over done, neither bas any policeman crossed its threshold. But, treasure that she is, she came near to making a change of residence at the close of her very first month's stay. On the morning of the day upon which her wages became due, her mistres requested her to step into the study, where her master was waiting to pay her, In a few moments she rushed from the study to the kitchen, where she had left her mistress, and in less time than it takes to narrate had given that astonishet lady notice. ** But whatever is the matter, Mary?” your master said or done to annoy you ? * He hasn't said nuthin',” replied Mary, as she flourished a cheque in her mistress's face, ‘‘ but he's on'y given me this for a month’s slavery. Not me;{ ain't no ortygraph collector, I ain't."—7¥¢-Bits. “*Say," said the man with the correct clothes and bowed back and horny hands of a farmer to the restaurant waiter, ‘‘have you got pig jowl and greens here? An’ buttermilk ? An’corn-bread? An’ kin I shovel the truck in witha knife and take my coat off ?” ‘The waiter told him he could be accommodated in all particulars. The ex-farmer removed his coat and sat down opposite a man, who looked as if he might be willing to listen, and explained : “It's been two year now,” said he, ‘‘ sence we struck gas on the farm, and! ain’t bad a square meal sence. Been fillin’ up on Charley Rusies, sooflay de allakazam, an‘ all them French dishes ever sence. That's what comes of mar ryin’a woman who believes in keepin’ up with the percession when you got the price, as she puts it.” “*T should think you would have rebelled long ago,” said the listener. “Would, but, you see, about three year ago I was so deep in debt that I hat to put the farm in her name. I sreaked away to-day an’ left her at one of them fine hotels. 1'm goin’ to have a orgie of old-fashioned vittles, sasprilly pop a’ mebbe a beer or two, an’ go back an’ tell her what I've did, an’ ef she wants to git a divorce she kin git Old Eli will hev hed his day of freedom fer a few glorious hours anyway !""—/ndianapolis Journal. inquired her mistress. ‘* What has coo into the Ger- What do ye ink of it, WINDSOR HOTEL Sth Ave, 46th to 47th sts, N.Y. THE COOLEST HOTEL IN NEW ‘YORK, Unsurpassed in location and perfect in all appoint- ments. Free Coach and Baggage to and from Grand Central Depot by giving us notice. Am- erican plan $4.00 per day and upward. European plan $1.so per day and upward. Musle during dinner.” The rangi public will find this u delightiy), cool, and homelike hotel, ELA Proprietor. OF course it’s imitated— anything good always is— that’s endorsement, not a pleasant kind, but still en- dorsement. HIRES Root- beer is imitated. Majo oniy by The Charles B.Hireg Co, Poitadelpbin 4 2c, package makes § gallons. Sold everywbere, HOW TO MAKE HLA cam be rome. died by the ust of ADIPO-MALENE. LE MARSH & CO, Madison Se, Philadebhis, Pa. BUFFALO LITHIAWATER For Bright’s, Gout, Rheumatism, Ete. Dr. William A. Hammond, Washington, D. C., Surgeon-General . S. Army, Retired. affections ‘of the nervous systea JATER disease of the kidneys, or with & factory. Cyrus Edson, “catth officer, New York City. In BUFFALO LITHIA WATER {3.2 Ber Z57eey,.i3, sortegting rheumatic diatnesis a case of uric acid gravel, in which I recently prescribed it, its beneficial fects were apparent after the third dose. | have also prescribed it with great benefit in Bright's disease of the kidneys.” “T have made use of complicated with Bright's diathesis. BUFFALO LITH The results have been 0 LIT! HMA Sold by Druggists. Pamphlet Free, Proprietor Buffalo Lithia Springs, Va. MILWAUKEE BECR 1S FAMOUS PABST HAS MADE IT SO_| THE ART OF BREWING WAS DEVELOPED BY THE GERMAN CORPUS LEAN rate of 10.40 18 Ima, aay ety MADE 3510 Metleon bas Phileda, Po. ABSOLUTELY HARMLESS. Seechting Steet he nataral vortiog of (eld by all reggie