Life — June 18, 1896 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE APOLOGIA. (TO A FAMOUS IMPRESSIONIST.) CANNOT tell what you say, purple Cow, I cannot tell what you say; Because the salmon-pink Ewe in the Pasture-Lot blue Is singing her Roundelay. By DAISY. Bo Ay. Daisy will publish horoscopes in this de- BGA} > pariment only in the order received. Remember the conditions, Cut out all the pictures from «ow copies of LIFE and forward them to Daisy, together with a photograph of your brain by Roentgen. Twinkle, twinkle, little sta Daisy tells us what we are, SAMUEL L. (C-L-M-N-S). HIS gentleman was born under the rear end of a stacked Pleiades, with a rising barometer on Gemini, the Great Bear stuffed with chest- nut burrs, a creme de menthe fog on Libra, and Venus playing leap-frog with Jupiter. In personal appearance he is very short cheeks with inlaid eyes, feet with a double accent, a huckleberry walk, and looks well in a barber's shop. He has an inordinate desire for dress and spends all of his time in grooming himself, and looks as if he had stepped out of a whirlwind. He should curb this and wear simple Mother Hubbards weighted with his own Y words at the bottom and illustrated with appropriate desigas, or would look well in a Leghorn hat and roller-skates, He has a respon sive temperament and when flush should avoid publishers. Will find his most congenial companions among Methodist deacons and total abstainers, and would do good work as a foreign missionary, a cab driver or a dealer in second-hand clothes. PAUL (K-R-G-R). HIS gentleman was born under Andromeda, Leo under acloud, Pegasus with the spring halt, Castor and Pollux coming in at the side doorand the Milky Way strewn with whisk- ers. He is very tall, with a sweet, winning smile, a wiener wurst neck has a wind- swept horizon with a grass-grown face and would do good work as a bird's nest in a primeval forest. He looks well inacanopy. Should wear a wire screen when up and use a lawn mower on his face Has a for- giving disposition and is very hospitable, insisting that his guests shall stay with him even if they have to be locked up. Is very industrious, easily earning his own living and would do good work as an Emperor a Coney Isl- and beer tosser or a Wild Man from Borneo. ANOTHER BICYCLIST HELD UP IN NeW JERSEY. A-L-F-N-S-O XIII, (BABY KING OF SPAIN.) HIS young man was born under an insur- gent moon, with Taurus in tandem with Mars, a salute of twenty-one toy- pistols on Uranus, and the bottom out of Cassiopeia’s chair, He will grow to be tall and thin, due to a lack of nourishment, with a hot tamale complexion and Spanish gait, and as he gets older will grow con- stantly poorer. He is ambitious, with a sanguine temperament, and under good conditions would amount to something, but is ham- pered by a lack of precedent and unfavorable surroundings. He is the 3" recipient of many favors from those who love him for what there is in it, and he should put by all the cash he receives, as he will need it later on. He should beware of real estate agents, visit in Cuba for his health, and smoke loaded Havana cigars three times a day. Would make a good messenger boy, a news-agent, or would succeed as lemonade- carrier in a circus. UMORS from New Haven attest the strenuous dis- satisfaction of the Yale undergraduates with the site chosen by the authorities for the statue of President Woolsey. The plan is to put the statue in front of Durfee, and the undergraduates object that it will be in their way and interfere with their spring competitions at the game of mumble-the-peg. It seems never to have been quite settled at Yale whether the university was made for the undergraduates or the undergraduates for the university. comicbooks.com