Life — June 11, 1896 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“LIFE: By DAISY. , Daisy will publish horoscopes in this de- partment only in the order received, Re- . member the conditions. Cut out all the pictures from 4,000 copies of Lire and forward them to Daisy, to- gether with a photograph of your brain by Roentgen. Twinkle, twinkle, little star; Daisy tells us what we are. BRET (H-R-T). HIS gentleman was born midway between Libra and Venus in hyphen with the Great Bear, Scorpio playing nine pins with the Pleiades, and the cross of St. George tattooed on Uranus in living letters of light, with pink posters on the sun, moon and stars. He is tall and gazelle-like, has a glad face with a Crystal Palace front, personally conducted feat- ures, and should be branded with a crest, and wear a blue and red escutcheon in plain view. He is very patriotic, visiting his native soil at infrequent intervals, and was once an author, but that was before he got into good society. He is the possessor of a rare tact, dances the two-step with inimi- table grace, knows the difference between a silk hat and a sack coat, and is a great favorite with the ladies, conversing with them for hours on things he has forgotten. Should avoid the West, and would do well as a companion to some nice old lady, or might makea good dealer in second-hand goods. * . . HENRY (I-R-V-N-G). HIS gentleman was born under a prop- erty moon in what tell with Virgo, Taurus loose, Venus dead to the world, and Job's coffin in hysterics. He stands four- teen hands high, has a Newark face, with Jersey City features; can do a mile in eighteen minutes when hard pressed; has a voice that is cheapateight dollars a cord, and looks well in a tunnel. He lacks magnetism, should avoid places of amusement, learn to read and recite, and would do good work asa foghorn on an un- habitated island. He has had many hard struggles which others have viewed with alarm, and he should learn to be more con- siderate, retire at 7.30 every evening. wear a head-rest, and live in a parachute when awake. Will find his most congenial com- 5f P THE DEAR THIN 477 panions among people with a keen sense of humor; will succeed as the keeper of a lighthouse, a supe, or a brakeman on a railroad. * 8 6 LORD (S-L-S-B-R-Y). HIS gentleman-was born under a fresh- laid Aurora Borealis in opposition to Leo, with Cancer hypnotized, the boundary lines on Mars visible to the naked eye, a malarious sun, and the Great Bear in the ascend- ant, He is beneath the average height, with an automatic, adjust- able frame, ruby eyes, with a cast- iron face and a paddle - wheel extension that takes water freely. Evil times in ‘97. A period of long unbroken rest tocome. He should avoid all excitement, live in a torrid =, tone, roll in the grass at least three times a day, eat his own words freely, wear a curb when awake, and sleep on a barbed-wire fence. Looks well in a jungle and will not succeed in control, but will do good work as a chimney-sweep, a diver, or a sword-swallower. OUR LITERARY REPORTERS. F literature continues to be dragged into daily journalism by the almighty dollar, we may expect in the near future to see the sensational newspapers of the day advertise the following special attractions for the 3-cent Sunday Jnfernal and the $-cent Sunday Horror : Tue Fiercest Doc FIGHT IN THE WorLD reported for the Sunday Infernal by Richard Harding Davis. Tue Dickey Divorce C. Edgar Saltus interviews the ac- cused maid for the Sunday Infernal, ‘ JuLian HawTHorNe’s Wit RIDE oN A CaBLe Car. A thrilling story of the perils of a great city by the son of the author of “The Scarlet Letter.” See to-morrow's Sunday Infernal. Razor PETE OF THOMPSON STREET. The notorious colored murderer interviewed in the Tombs by that master of negro dialect, Thomas Nelson Page. In to-morrow's /nfernal. Hatr3Hours In Heu's Kitcuen. A realistic study of the wickedest spot in New York, prepared especially for the Sunday Jnfernal by William Dean Howells. + -WTHE ELECTROCUTION OF BILL THE BRUTE, from the pen of the gifted New England authoress, Miss Mary E. Wil- kins. See Sunday's /ufernal. A Lapy SHopLIFTER OF QuALITY. Light-fingered Lucy interviewed in the Raymond Street Jail by Mrs. Frances Hodgson Burnett. Written especially for the Sunday Horror, How 17 FEELS To FALL. FROM A BALLoon. Brander Matthews relates a hair-raising adventure that will interest all Sunday Horror readers. What SHALL We Do WitH OvR BROTHERS-IN-Law ? A thoughtful so- ciological study by Rudyard Kipling, author of “A Family Affair” and the “Rough and Tumble Book.” Written exclusively for the Sunday Horror,