Life, 1896-06-11 · page 8 of 20
Life — June 11, 1896 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Life Magazine Page 476 This page contains three separate humorous sketches satirizing early 20th-century American social types: **"The Boarding-House Keeper"** mocks a specific social figure—a woman who runs a boarding house and nicknames her residents as "Transients," "Permanents," or "Your Company." The text describes her combination folding-beds and her tendency to inspire comparisons to her own disorganized household. **"A Statistician"** presents a brief dialogue between Perry Patetic and Wayborn Watson debating beer consumption statistics during Prohibition, satirizing both statistical arguments and the era's alcohol ban. **"Clergyman"** depicts a priest confused about why fish bite on Sundays. The sketches use exaggerated character types and absurdist logic typical of Life's humor—targeting landlords, pedantic debaters, and clergy through everyday domestic situations.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
*LIFE-: conversation as a prominent humorist calls ‘‘ Repartee.” In fact, impecunious literary gentlemen began to regard her as a source of income. The fact, however, that she retains the trunks (Saratoga, not anatomical) of several gentlemen of this class shows that her power of inspiring marketable-serio-comic repartee has possibly been over- » rated. She tells you with an air of simple earnest conviction that her boarding-house is ‘‘not like other boarding- houses.” All members of her profession tell you this, and, as the assertion is repeated from varying lips and local'ties, you are gradually convinced that, in spite of contradictory appearances, there is no boarding-house anywhere that is anything like other boarding-houses. She ‘‘never expected to have to come to this.” This total lack of preparation is also peculiar to all ladies of her profession, and may explain their peculiar methods “HERE 18 SOMETHING THE DocTOR says oNE vorrte or Of torturing the homeless. WHICH WILL MAKE A NEW WOMAN OF you.” Jesste M. Wood. A STATISTICIAN, ERRY PATETTIC: Now, this here paper says that the production of beer in the United States is fifteen gallons fer every inhabitant —and that’s where the Prohibition party is a good thing. Wayworn Watson: Fer why? Perry Patertic: Buccause every fifteen gallons the Prohit’s don’t drink is that much more for us liberal people. LERGYMAN: No; Sunday was not intended to be spent in fishing. . HiIs LITTLE SON: Isn't it strange, papa, that the fish bite on Sunday? “WHEN THE DOCTOR CALLS TO-DAY, JOHN, YOU MAY TELL HIM THAT I FEEL THAT I AM ALL RIGHT NOW.” THE BOARDING-HOUSE KEEPER. SHE HAS A LANGUAGE OF HER OWN. T°? her you are either a “Transient” or a ‘'Per- manent.” Your visitors she briefly catalogues as ‘‘ Your Company.” Such human beings as are neither ‘‘ Transients,” ‘* Permanents” nor ‘‘ Your Company” she scornfully describes as ‘‘ Parties.” She also suffers from some chronic trouble which she calls her ‘‘ Help.” There is a variety of dishes on her table, but it Bg varlety that never varies: “LOOK HERE, YOU CONFOUNDED PILL ROLLER, SIT DOWN THERE AND She is noted for her large coltection of combina- waite tHaT YOU THINK THE BICYCLE IS INJURIOUS TO WOMEN; ALS tion folding-beds, and a power of inspiring such WRITE A PRESCRIPTION COUNTERACTING THAT MEDICINE YOU GAVE HER.”