Life — May 14, 1896 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

blessing. Iam yet a bachelor. If I had been rich I would. have been a married man, for a rich man is practically defenseless under the circumstances. Many a time’and oft have I known the incommunicable bliss of loving some fair crea- ture. Many the moonlight nights that I have floated on the inexpressible sweetness of a summer sea of mu- tual confidences. Often and often I have reveled in the ecstasy of what I fondly hoped was recip- rocal affection, and I am still left to continue in the enjoyment of those de- lights. What married man is? Ah, if they had only been poor as lam! Yesterday my dearest friend wanted to borrow ten dollars from me. If Thad been rich he would have got it and been my debtor for life, and our sweet and strengthening friendship would have perished forever. Five years ago I wrote a brilliant and able ar- ticle on the political situa- tion, and the day after its appearance in print a prominent politician, who had never before heard of me, came to talk to me about running for Congress. When he had been informed of my “*GRANDMA, WHEN I AM AN ANGEL§WILL I HAVE wincs?" “T HOPE SO, DEAR. WHY DO YOU ASK ?” x “Cause I THINK I'D RATHER HAVE A BICYCLE, pecuniary condition he went away. If it had been otherwise I might have become a member of Congress, possibly a United States Senator. Verily, verily, poverty is a blessing. A footpad stopped me at midnight not long ago and requested me to hold up my hands, which I did. When he had finished his examination of my effects he sighed sympathetically and tendered me half-+a-dollar, which I accepted in the kindly spirit it was intended. What a different tale I would have to tell had I been wealthy! I hear a knock on my door, and I must stop and see my visitor. It is the tax assessor, and I shall be glad to meet him. It is not the rich who are glad to see the assessor. W. J. Lampton.