Life — April 23, 1896 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

By DAISY. Daisy will publish horoscopes in this de- partment only in the order received, Re- ‘member the conditions. Cut out all the pictures from 4,009 copies of Lire and forward them to Daisy, to- gether with a photograph of your brain by Roentgen. Twinkie, twinkle, little star; Daisy tells us what we are. JAMES J, (C-R-B-T). HIS gent. was born under Aquarius, with a drop curtain over Sagittarius, Venus rent in twain, and Taurus tossing up with Mars for the bay rum. He is very puny, with a glass face, an automatic mouthpiece, and can write with his feet in seven languages. He is singularly refined in his manner, runs like adeer at the mere mention of blood, and would do good work in a flying machine. He is very harmless, splendid with children, qnite gentle with other animals, hard to find when wanted, and has traces of a soul. Will find a warm welcome among prize- fighters, but prefers the society of others. Is the soul of generosity, frequently giving him- self away, and would do good work as the govern- or of aState, or the president of a society for the prevention of cruelty to animals. * . . TOMMY (P-L-T). HIS gentleman was born with all the planets in single file, a torchlight procession on Mars, eptune falling on his trident, and the dust several miles thick on Pisces. He is seven cubits in stature and constantly growing, has an Albany and Harlem river expres- sion, with a Salvation Army face and a cloven foot. Is easily led and very charita- ble, dispensing good things to all who love and obey him, works on the ground floor, and loves others for what there is in them. Eviltimes in ‘97, Hasa great ambition, but in order to succeed should avoid machinery and seek the society of Presbyterian ministers and saloon keepers. Has a weakness for writ- ing for the papers and should check it. Beware of traveling in large cities. Should live in Mammoth Cave, and will succeed best as a medium or a well-digger. ALBERT EDWARD (W-T-T-N). HIS gentleman was born under Leo, with that sign rapidly de- clining, Venus running full capacity night and day, in full-back with Neptune, in quarter-back with Virgo, and Cancer and Capri- corn playing pool for the drinks. He is always short, with a red brick exterior built throughout with fire-proof material, has Lord Fauntleroy curls with a Howell's bang, is very industrious, spend- ing hours over his meals, and quite democratic in frequently associating with mem- bers of his own family. He is very shy in the presence of ladies, and would do good work as a cigar store Indian. He looks well in a suit of Cape Cod oyster shells, linked with galvanized wire and set with 18-carat rhinestones; should avoid clubs, and will find his most congenial companions among mermaids. Would do well as a blacksmith, but will succeed best as an advertising agent. his tastes, DIFFERENT IDEAS OF SPORT. TH slugger is’ generally regarded as something of a brute. But there are few sluggers in whom the love of fair play is utterly extinct. Asa rule, they prefer to see the smaller man win. The vivisector is not hampered by any such senti- ment, When he gets an-animal securely strapped to a table and warms up to the sport of seeing how much he can accomplish and yet keep the victim alive, he experiences a sense of victory combined with safety that the slugger seldom enjoys. Lire knows a great many good citizens who would travel long miles to see a fight to a finish with hard gloves between this kind of a ‘‘scientist” and a pro- fessional slugger. cs A SCRAP of history "—The battle of Gettysburg. WELL RECOMMENDED. “TANKS: Dr. Emdee is the best man at diagnosis I ever saw, Banks: How is he about treating a patient? ‘First-class; always prescribes liquor in some form.” NEVER judge a man by the coat he wears. may have borrowed it for the occasion. He — THE FIRST LIMITED STOCK COMPANY EVER FLOATED.