Life — March 26, 1896 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

NOT A MATTER OF RAIMENT. SHAPELY sylph, he saw her pose, For an ecstatic whirl, And murmured, ‘‘[t is not the clothes That make the ballet-girl.” Daisy will publish horoscopes in this de- partment only in the order received, Re- “ member the Conditions. Cut out all the pictures from sooo copies of Litt and forward them to Daisy, to- gether with a Photograph of your brain by Roentgen Twinkle, twinkle, little star; Daisy tells us what we are, CHARLES H. (P-K-H-R-S-T). HIS gentleman was oorn under Virgo, with Cassiopeia's chair on its last legs, the canals on Mars bursting their dams and a wet blanket over Venus. Has rosy cheeks, bleached hair, a receding forehead, and a cork leg. Is very susceptible, easily led,and changes his mind on the least provocation. Has a tendency towards kleptomania, and might appropri- ate things that do not belong to him. Danger n politics. Should avoid places of amuse- ment, such as dance balls, gilded hells, etc. Has a passion for gambling, and may land in jail unless careful. Talks best when alone Has love of approbation strongly developed, but may be disappointed later in life. Should wear rubber hose, striped pink shirts with white collars and a corrugated iron porous plaster. Will find his most congenial companions among bartenders and reporters. May sign the pledge in 'g7; do good work as an aeronaut or an Arctic explorer. * * . LILLIAN (R-S-L). HIS lady was born under Saturn in relapse with Sagittarius, all the planets visibly affected, the mountains in the moon top- pling over and icebergs forming on Venus. She has a frame structure built on the modern plan, with a thatched roof of bur- nished gold, a face with features to it, an acquired Hoboken accent and a Broadway- and-Thirty-third-street_ complexion that is only rivaled by tne kalsomined ceiling in the Waldorf dining-room. Has traveled extensively in Jersey City, crossing on the ferry-boat_ many times. Is precocious, readily noticing any bright object and can repeat the letters of the alphabet. Looks well through a telescope. Is very impatient, and will never become a widow on this account. Will marry in '96, ‘97, "98, and possibly in'gy. Should wear a mask during the day and sleep nine hours a night. Would do good work as a missionary or might join the Salvation Army. CHARLES A, (D-N-A). HIS gentleman was born under Libra, with seventeen fresh spots on the sun, comets shedding their tails generally, Leo standing pat on ace high and Grover Cleveland's tintype on the face of the moon. He is short and squat, with a Rutherford B. Hayes’ slope to his forehead, a Sea- wanhaka bang, Pulitzer dimples and Godkin teeth. He has a record for sav- ing several lives from drowning, and a taste for religions, flitting from one to the other with great ease. Also wonderful powers as an entertainer and would make a good vaudeville per- tormer or a living picture. Is noted for his tender, sympathizing nature, which shrinks from giving needless pain to others. Loves his neighbors dearly, and is constantly bestowing on them little evidences of his thoughtfulness. Ought to have some business which will bring him into personal contact with those who love him. Avoid politics and cats. Often disappointed, notably in ‘76, "80, "84, "88 and ‘92, also in ‘96. Would do good work in a graveyard or might succeed as keeper of a sailors’ boarding-house. * * . ABOUL HAMID (HIGH TURK). HIS gentleman was born under Sagittarius with that sign in the ascendant, a purple halo around Venus, the dog-star frothing at the mouth and Mars holding up a kicker. He is tall and slender, with Moslem whiskers, a canvas-back complexion and a harem gait. Under the microscope reveals goo8 per cent. of animal matter and the rest unknown. He is very brave, frequently spending hours in his own company. Is quite versatile; loves at first sight, and has a sense of humor so keen that he has had to stop reading Lire, but Puck is still open to him. Has a shrinking, feminine nature, faints at the sight of blood,and would do good work asa cable-car gripman. Should cultivate the society of elderly spinsters, take daily exercise on a barbed - wire fence, and wear a suit of asbestos in case of sudden death. Would make a good smoke consumer or a vivisectionist. Fok a long distance race, Nemesis can afford to give you a big handicap. KEEPING HIS HAND IN. VER notice how perstitious Hargreav is? Never passes a post with- out touching ‘That isn't superstition ; it is just practice.” 6“ su- P the aisle with pious mies With measured steps ard look serene— An every Sunday-morning scone In Lenten-tide. F the men who make his- tory were the men who wrote it there would be a great conflict of authorities. ey comicbooks.com