Life, 1896-03-19 · page 7 of 20
Life — March 19, 1896 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis of Life Magazine Page 215 This page satirizes **Levi Parsons Mortorious Diogenes**, a fictional Vice-President character who embodies incompetence and delusion. The satire depicts him as overshadowed by President **Alexander Harrisonius** (a thinly-veiled reference to a U.S. President, likely Harrison). The humor centers on Diogenes's absurd ambitions: after failing at politics, he attempts increasingly ridiculous feats—writing for women's magazines, conducting orchestras, and constructing a "presidential lightning-rod" on his farm to summon rain. The cartoon mocks political figures who overestimate their abilities and waste time on vanity projects rather than governance. The bottom illustration shows Diogenes instructing an orphan, labeled "Doing the honors"—suggesting his incompetence extends even to simple tasks.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Married One: CAN YOU IMAGINE ANYTHING WORSE THAN MARRIAGE WITHOUT LOVE ? The Unmarried One: Yes, 1 THINK CAN. OUT MARRIAGE, FOR INSTANCE. Love witn- PLUTARCH’S LIVES UP TO DATE. Levi Parsons Mortonus DioceEnes. EVI PARSONS MORTONUS DIOGENES was a native of Vermontia, and traced his lineage back to Diogenes, the cynic philosopher of Athens, He became such a rich man that he could afford even the luxury of a stock farm, and was elected Vice-President of the States United, Atthe capital, Mortonus Diogenes found himself as complete- ly overshadowed by the President, Alexander Harrisonius the Great, of the Hoosier province, as the President was over- 215 shadowed by the hat of his grandsire. With the aid of a quorum of obliging Senators he presided over the Senate, but long ere his term expired he pined for the low- ing kine of Ellerslie. More to his taste was a stock farm than a_ national stock exchange. Atlength Alexander Harrisonius the Great procured his own renomination, but caused Mortonus Diogenes to be turned down, and was himself defeated for re-election by Clevelandus, the Man of Destiny. Mortonus Diogenes was giving salt to the Holsteins when swift henchmen brought the news. ** Alexander Harrisonius is beaten!" cried a breathless courier. ‘* What what can he do now?" “Do?” quoth Mortonus Diogenes, “why he can write fancy-work articles for the Ladies’ Lome Companion, of course!" And he did. Four years thereafter, Mortonus Diogenes, being then Governor of the pivotal province Newyorkus, became infested with the crotchet that he was a bigger man than Old Grant. Having played second fiddle at the capital under Alexander Harrisonius, he yearned to swing a baton over the entire national orchestra. Accordingly, with the assistance of Metoo Tomplattus, a noted party boss, he reared a huge presidential lightning-rod on his stock farm, and began praying for rain. Now, Alexander Harrisonius had repeatedly proclaimed throughout the States United that he was not a candidate, but for all that he was secretly working over-time on a lightning-rod of his own. This, Mortonus Diogenes well knew. One = ~ day while Mortonus Diogenes was in- structing an orphan Holstein calf how to drink milk out ofapail, Alexander Harrisonius rode up ona white charger and inquired the way to the White House. DoING THE HONORS. comicbooks.com