Life — February 6, 1896 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Ir was said that a militia company was organized just before the war at Bungtown, O. It was called the Bungtown riflemen, and the by-laws consisted of two sections—namely : “ Article First—This company shall be known as the Bungtown Rifles. “Article Second—In case of war this company shall be immediately dis- banded."—Louisville Post, THE ADVANCED WOMAN. She may stand upon the corner in her bloomers, if she chooses ; She can smoke a cigarette in public, too ; She may think up shocking thoughts and dedicate them to the muses— In fact, do anything that’s truly new, But do not yet repine, Oh, creatures masculine, or think creation’s altered in its plan ; or she always wants to do hings she’s not expected to, And she doesn't care to do them when she can. A foremost place in politics—she'll have it if she pleases ; She'll worry over bargains in appropriation bill te the gavel which untutored man now seizes and pretty ribbons till with joy the eye it fills. She may do it all in style Fora very little while, But the ultimate result we calmly scan; For she always wants to do ‘Things she's not expected to, And she doesn't care to do them when she can. —Washington Haviland China It is important to buyers that they should be informed that the only ware that has always been known E of the weirdest experiences I have had so far in my professional said the young lawyer to a number of his brother practitioners, “came to me last week in a miserable little divorce case. “Twas sitting in my office when a pair of Germans came in. “* What can Ido for you ?" Lasked in my best manner. “** Vell," said the man, ‘ ve vant a divorce." “It isn’t necessary to go into the history of their conjugal relations as they told it jointly. An ax seem to be the salient feature of it. When the mood seized them, whoever laid hands on that useful but murderous implement used to run the other out into the street and chase him or her, as the case might be. “Your wife might better bring the suit,’ said 1, after listening to a mass of facts that would have procured forty separations, ‘She's a woman, you know. “The man rose anxiously and bent over me. “““ Haf I done genug to haf her gedt idt ? he inquired. “+ Certainly,” said I. “Because, auf I hafn't,’ be went on, ‘1 vill hit her vonce now.’ ".—Céhicage record. “UNCLE” PETER BATES wasa local celebrity who kept the tavern in Ras- dolph, Vt.,in the old staging days. He was noted for his dry humor, and was never at a loss for a retort or for a method of expressing his ideas. One morning, after breakfast, asa stranger was about to depart without paying his bill, Uncle Peter walked up to him and blandly said: “Mister, if you should lose your pocket- book between here and Montpelier, remember you didn’t take it out here.”— Youth's Companion, STOUT MAN (whose appetite has been the envy of his fellow boarders)-1 declare, I have three buttons off my vest. MISTRESS OF THE Housr—You will probably find them in the dining room, sir.— Town and Country Journal, “Hunter Baltimore Rye” Absolutely Pure Old Rye Whlskey FOR CLUB, FAMILY AND MEDICINAL USE. Years THE OLD. BEST WHISKEY as Haviland China is marked under each piece: ng IN H&C° “ranc® On White China, siland, S*Timoges i On Decorated China, AMERICA Endorsed by Leading Physicians when stimulant is prescribed. noweenk, Pure, Old, Mellow, It fs pure.” ** SOLD AT ALL First-class Cafes and by Jobbers. WM. LANAHAN & SON, Baltimore, Md. “Drink No time lost with WHITMAN'S eee GOUT? SCHERING'S Zaman P|PERAZIN WATER Pampncer Face. LEHN & FINK, Agents, New York. Gravel, Calculus, Lazy WILL CURE IT. INSTANTANEOUS CHOCOLATE. RECOMMENDED FOR Taste, flavor and qual Liver, and all Uric Acid Troubles. comicbooks.com