Life — January 30, 1896 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A WASHINGTON paper tells a story connected with the sale of the household effects of the historian Bancroft. A lady, who greatly admired the historian, had heard that a desk of his was to be sold, and had made up her mind to possess it. But on the day of the auction she was ill, and sent her daughter in her place, with instructions to pay as much as a hundred dollars to get the desk. It was old and worn, and had no intrinsic value, but that made no difference to her. Its associations were what she prized it for. The young lady went early and obtained a front seat. When the desk was finally put up, she was very nervous, and glanced apprebensively about, as if she feared competition. She offered a bid of five dollars in a low voice; then some one bid six, and soon the price went up to fifteen dollars. Then everybody dropped out except the young lady and some unknown bidder over near the outer door. Asoftenas the young lady advanced her bid five dollars, this unknown opponent advanced his; until at last her limit of one hundred dollars was reached—the other bidder offering this amount. By this time the spectators were regarding the young lady with much interest. Several times she had endeavored to get a view of her unknown antagonist, but the crowd was too dense. Though her limit had been reached, she thought she might safely offer another ten, to see if her antagonist had not reached his limit. Besides, her anger had risen at this apparently spiteful opposition. She bid one hundred and ten. “Do I hear one nundred and fifteen 2” called the auctioneer. one hundred and fifteen it is. historical desk. The young lady gave it up at this, and no more being offered, the desk was knocked dnown to the ‘lady at the door!" A lady! Who would thus annoy and frustrate another lady ! “Yes, madam, One hundred and fifteen dollars I am bid for this “There? Of course I am; but how came you here ?” “Why, I was so worried for fear you would not know how to bid that I got up and came, to make sure. I didn’t see you anywhere in the room, and so I thought you were late; and it seems it was lucky I came; for some one down there was bidding awfully for that desk, and —" “« Mother, was it you that was bidding against me?” The two women gazed at each other. They had been bidding against each other until they had run up to one hundred and fifteen dollars, a desk which tne daughter alone could have got for sixteen! But they have the consolation that at least the desk is in the family. Ove day, when a coupe, driven along Broadway at the rate of ten miles an hour, had come within a hair's breadth of running me down, I followed it up for three or four blocks until it came to a halt beside the curb-stone. “Do you know," I said to the driver, who grinned as he saw me approach, “that you nearly run me down ten minutes ago ?" “Yes, sir,” he promptly replied.” “You had me in between your carriage and a cable car, and it was a close call.” “Yes, it was, sir.” “ You didn’t even try to pull up your horse,” I persisted. “No, sir.” ‘Then you didn’t care whether you run me down or not 2” “No, sir!” “Well, that’s cool! Are you in the habit of killing people who may be crossing the street as you come along 2” Not in the habit—no, sir. You see it was this way. A gent picks me up at the Fifth Avenue and wants to git down to the Star Theater in five minutes. I can't git him there in five, but I can in eight, if there isn’t a block and the wheels stay on, and I does it and gets fifty cents extra.” “ But where do | come in ?” “You? Why, you escaped with your life and there's no kick coming to youl Wait till you are run down and then let the widdy do the kickin’ !" Exchange. Kiptine is writing a story for the Ladies’ Home Journal. Kipling! How- ever, with his usual breeze and the vinous quality of his style, he concludes a chapter thereof : “And the fellow tossed down a glass of old Madeira, and turned to leave the room,” etc. Little Bok, in a panic, wires the brawny jungle man: ‘Can you change ‘ Tossed down a glass of old Madeira” Ladies’ Home Journal rules forbid mention of wine.” Kipling wires four words: ‘ Make it Mellin’s food."—Chap Book. As soon as she could, the young lady rose and left the room. As she was going out, she was astonished to see her mother near the door, looking a little pale but very triumphant, “What! Are you here after all, my dear 2” asked the mother. LIFE'S ~COMEDY. HERES NOTHING [IKE IT THE TIP-NUH Uut RA Futc DRESS PoKe wat Don't Pincy pur Smiate Corcar Co HE first number of LIFE LIFE’S COMEDY will be issued on February 1, 1896, and thereafter every three months, namely: May Ist, August ist, and November = Ist. It will contain 32 pages Cheese of beautifully printed illus- Fanciers trationson heavy calendered everywhere find a pleasing | Delicacy paper, with a specially deco- rated cover, printed in colors. in the soft, rich American Price Twenty-five Cents. Subscriptions One Dollara year. Postage paid. Drawings 3 Cheese. by Gibson, Wonzell, Van Schaick, Johnson, bat a oie he Sullivant, and others. neue Tickles the Palate.” fest Tat nee os Jartoprerest mold sed wane. A rosie te javet be seat to er am exceedingly pleased with Be. Cheese."— va. 8. T. Rorer, CHANDLER & RUDD CO., 36 Euclid ra Cleveland.0, The first number, issued February ist, will be Devoted to The American Girl. T Blair's Pills Great English Remedy for GOUT and RHEUMATISM. SAPE, SURE, EFPECTIV ta, oF 224 William St.. New York. MITCHELL & MILLER, Publishers, 19 & 21 West Bist Street, New York ‘city.