Life — January 30, 1896 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LEARNING THE Lesson.—Hubby: ‘When I first got married I determined to have no large items of ex- pense in housekeeping, but I find after all that it is the little things that count.” : “* How many have you ?” Ihave four."—Detrott Free Press. Tue boy hung back when the visitor spoke to him, and his mother was naturally annoyed. “Won't you go to Mrs. Brown, Willie?” she said. “No,” replied the boy shortly. “Don't you like me?” asked Mrs, Brown, good naturedly. “No, I don't,” answered the boy. “Why, Willie!” exclaimed his mother reproach- fully, “Well, I guess I got licked for not telling the truth yesterday, and I ain't takin’ no chances to-day.” pro- tested the boy.—Chicago Evening Post. KINGLakE, the author of ‘*Eothen,” was afflicted with gout, and he had a fancy to try a lady doctor, and wrote to one to ask if gout was beyond her scope. She replied : ‘Dear sir, gout is not beyond my scope, but men are.” Itwas Kinglake who uttered one of the neatest of mots on the peculiar character of the 7imes. He had little fondness for that journal, in spite of per- sonal friendships which might have been expected to soften his view of the question. The paper was still to him a sort of juggernaut, irresistible and fateful. On seeing an announcement of the new editor's marriage, he exclaimed: ‘* Heavens! that brings the 7imes into A writer in Saturday Review, satirically calling attention to the custom of Francis Thompson, the poet, of adding strange words to the English language, says: Might we not, by following Mr. Thompson's method, add some degree of “literary gorgeousness" even to the least Thompsonian of our poems? For instance, cer- tain well known verses would be redeemed from much of their sordid quietude if presented thus : By fonts of dove, ways incalcable, Did habitate A virgin largely inamable And illaudate. A violet by a muscose stone Semioccult, Formose as astre when but one, Ostends its vult. She lived incognite, few could know When she cessated, But oh, the difference when, lo, She’s tumulated. Much obsolete poetry might thus be brought up to date. A WELL-KNOWN author owns a remarkable collec- tion of death masks of distinguished men. Having heard that a certain foreigner had made by permission a mask of Eugene Field, he wrote and courteously asked whether a replica of it might be secured. A reply was soon received couched in very brusque language, to the effect that no replica would be furnished, but that the MACMILLAN AND COMPANY, NEW YORK. Tpke Last Touches. By Mrs, W. K. Clifford. eer Simple. By Captain Marryat. Illustra. ibzion Sirlinzton, Whth an introduction eee The Two Nations. By Benjamin Disras, YE me es by F. Pegram. With an introduction by H ‘Trai Chgistian and Leah. By Leopold Kompert. Tra fred S. APRA intusteations bee lated by A Arnold. Hamilton Vackson, dollars. Whereupon the author sat down and wrote te following lette “DEAR SiR: I am in receipt of your note in whit you decline to allow me to make any offer for a replia of your death mask of Mr, Eugene Field, but offer to 2 me the original for a thousand dollars. I fear that ey collection must remain without the mask in question, a also of any mask of yourself; for I feel certain that whe the time comes for the making of the latter, there wil not be clay enough available to cover your chee! “Very truly yours, —Bookman, THE editor of The New Woman was buying te mechanical outfit for her publication, the first number of which was to be issued in a few weeks. “You wish to get an entire dress for the paper? said the typefounder. “Yes, sir.” “Have you any preference as to the style?” he ix quired, Yes, sir,” promptly replied the editor. relations with humanity."—4rgo"zut, original mask might be purchased of him for a thousand want anything décloleté."—Chicago Tribune. For sale by all Newsdeaters tn Great Britain. The Inter- Evnopran AGENTS- national News Company, m's Building, Chancery Lane London, E. C., England, AOENTs. SBTp Brentano, 37 Avenue de 1'Open, Paris; Saarbach’s News Exchange, 1 C ‘Mayeace, Germany, Agents for Germany, Austria and Switseriand. Chloral, ca -Bromo-Seltzer IT IS AN EFFECTIVE, EFFERVESCING PREPARATION WHICH CURES ALL HEADACHES AND CORRECTS Disordered Stomach and Nervous Troubles. i IVORY SOAP No other soap is found in so many homes. ‘Tne Procter & Gaware Co., Cir Morphine, ANS, (MARIANI WINE) THE IDEAL FRENCH TONIC. re Facto: «« When we drink it, we sing, are y bat Gono ae xe Bre . 7 , city at gay, we love, dream of the future, Kambror? of glory, of the infinite; in fact, nothing can be better than Vin Mariani.” MOUNET SULLY. At Davocwrs & Fascy Guoceas. Avorp Scnerrrenoss. Sent tree, If this paper ls mentioned, Descriptive Book, Fora and Autographs of Celebrities. DAMAGES H. ELLIS & CO., Baltimore, Mi] —— ‘Trial Package in Pouch by mail for 39 | Tue Axmnican Tonacco Co., Succe 400 Fine Second-Hand Wheels | er f BICYCLE fun te closed ‘out Agents| Beecham’s pills for consi Send forlista DF. Sead & Prentiog, Chicago. pation roc. and 25c. Get AN: Kitty, is that an immoral book you| book at your druggist’s are reading ? . Kitty: No, indeed; this book was written | 8° by it. L byaman. Chicago Record. | Annual sales more than 6,000,000 best MARIANI & 8 CO an Hacesmaan, [ores 4 Relevant 1nh St, New Yous, bom : $39 Oxford comicbooks.com