Life — December 5, 1895 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AT §e SOR Ai NLL ALTHOUGH Lee Jones lives in Alameda, he is devoted to his club and his devotion frequently costs him the last boat. Of course he always explains the matter next day at dinner, Within the past few days Mrs. Jones’ pug dog has been running off and staying away for half a day at a time. Monday evening he disappeared and Tuesday morning he was still among the missing. Mrs, Jones became anxious about her pet and at the breakfast table asked her cook : “+ Maggie, where do you suppose pug is? He was away all night.” “I don't know, mum, but I guess he missed the last boat,” was the prompt response.—San Francisco Post. “Loox here,” she said defiantly, as she strode into the detective’s office, *¢ my husband's missing.” ** You don't say so!” * [don't say so, don't 1? Well, I'd have you understand 1 do say so, and what's more, you heard me say so. And I don't propose to stand here and be contradicted by any man that lives.” She paused for breath, and the officer murmured, “1 didn't mean any offence.” “If that ain't like a man! What difference does it make * Of course you don’t know where he is, You're not paid for knowing where heis, are you? I haven't been upto the tax collector's office twice a year for the last twenty—I mean ten—years paying my share of your salary to look after just such cases as this.” “Well, ma'am, I don’t know where he is, but I've got a clue!" “You don't say so!” “The first thing we do isto look fora motive, 1 think I've found out why your husband left your home. If I learn any more I'll let you know.” And he dodged into his private office and bolted the door.— Washington Star. AMONG stories told by country doctors, this one certainly deserves a place. The doctor had prescribed for an Irish- man, and visited his cabin the next day to see how he was getting on. “Well, Patrick, are you better to-day?" he asked pleasantly. “Oh, murther, no—I'm worse, with turribhle pain in me innards !" “ Why, didn’t you take the pills I ordered 2” “+ I did that, an’ I'm worse ; but maybe the cover hasn't come off the box Judd. By J. A. Mitchell, The Amazing Marriage. By George Meredith. volumes. STONE AND KIMBALL, CHICAGO, When Valmond Came to Pontiac, By Gilbert Parker, Vaitina Letters. Being Correspondence Adérewed by Robert Louis Stevenson to Sidney Colvin. Two volumes. FL NG MM. REVELL COMPANY, CHICAGO AND TORONTO. Persian Life and Customs, By Rev.S.G. Wilson, M.A. From Far Formosa. _ By George Leslie Mackay, D.D. Edited by the Rev. J. A. Macdonald. MACMILLAN AND COMPAY York. Country Stories, By Mary Russell Whitford. trated by George Morrow. The Youth of Parnassus and Other Stories. Pearsall Smith. A Japanese Marriage. The Vears that the Locust Hath Eaten. Holdsworth. - Two EW YORK, Mus By Logan By Douglass Sladen. By Annie B. Fables and Essays, By John Bryan, New York: The Arts and Letters Company. Dolly Diltenbeck. By James Ford, Iilustrated by Francis Day, New York: George H. Richmond ani Company. The Vouth's Plutarch's Lives, Ellis, M Garrison Tales from Tonquin. Boston : Copeland and Day. Edited by Edward S. A. New York: The Woolfall Company. By James O'Neill. cIntosh, what you meant ? meant ? you? tions and make silly remarks, Where's my “Why, how do I know where your husbai You don't suppose I You've got your business to attend to, haven't All L ask is that_ you mind it and not ask fool ques- care what you just now ? husband ?” Dentist: ind is?” Youne Lapy (timorously) : Don’t be alarmed ; it was a patient who was being treated free of charge.—Vereins-Blatt, Taffy's Revised Football Rules. By Burt W Ilustrated by F. Richard Anderson, tosh Publishing Company. Who was that screaming few V. 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Our Guarantee.—We will refund the money paid for DEMELVO, in any case where {t 18 used ac- ‘rding to directions, and does not produce the results promised. Price, $2.00 a Bottle, by Mall. THE CHARLES A. VOGELER CO., Baltimore, Md. Johannis “ King of Natural Table Waters.” Is Conceded to be the Finest Table Water ever Imported. Bottled at the Johannis Spring—Zollhaus, Germany. ERNEST GOGORZA, so Broad Street, N. Y., Managing Agent in United States and Canad for Johannis Ltd., London. LITTLE w CIGARS. ALL IMPORTED TOBACCO. HIGHEST IN PRICE FINEST IN QUALITY 25c. a Bundle, 10 in Bundle. Trial Package in Pouch by mail for 25c. H, ELLIS & CO., Baltimore, Md. True Ammnican Tosacco Co., Successor. Hotel Hamilton, atrons of the Hotel Hamilton, Bermuda, will be glad to know that the hotel haste turned to its old and popular managemet, that of Messrs. Mead & Brooks. ‘These gentlemen are so well and favorably known that the hotel will, as it were, take © a new lease of life, and we bespeak for ita? unusually successful and brilliant season. Messrs. Mead & Brooks may be addr for circulars and information until Dec. at the office of the Boston Home Jouma, 220 Devonshire Street, Boston, Mass. / that date, care of the Hamilton Hote, Hamilton, Bermuda. Se ACQUAINTANCE: Why don't you goatd inspect that flimsy looking new building th are putting up in the next block ? BUILDING INsPecTOR: I'm afraid it io safe to go into it.—Chicago Tribune.