Life — November 21, 1895 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A New YorxER went to Washington not long ago to help a friend get married. It was agreed, when they went to the City Hall forthe license, that the New Yorker should do the talking. ‘The clerk asked the names of the con- tracting parties, their place of residence, and other questions. Then he said to the New Yorker: * Is the groom light ordark?” “Light,” returned the young man, wondering what complexion had to do with the matter,‘ Lady light also?” asked the clerk, writing busily. ‘No; she's dark,” was the reply. ‘* Dark ?” said the clerk, inquiringly, ‘and the groom light? Is that right 2" “Certainly,” replied the New Yorker, with dignity, wondering still more. ‘* Mar- riage between So-and-So, white, and So-and-So, colored,” read the clerk. ‘What's that?” shouted the groom ; “‘what the devil do you mean by calling her colored ?” “Why, this gentleman said so," said the clerk. ‘I didn’t protested the New Yorker ; ‘+I said she was dark, She's a brunette.” “Oh, brunette,” observed the clerk; ‘I see. You're from the North, aren't you ?- Down here, when we say light we mean white, and dark meanscolored. Here's the license. One dollar, please.” Cheap enough, too, with the information thrown in,” said the groom to the New Yorker as they took the license and went away. ‘1 wonder if they'd call a mulatto striped ?"— Washington Post. A YouNG minister settled over a small country parish was instructed by his parishioners to procure a piano for their use. He did so, telling the dealer to charge the bill for rental to the secretary of the parish, When the bill amounted to $25, the society being unable to pay it, as well as the salary of the pastor, the music dealer dunned the minister for the ANT SEISSORS AT Wig latter replied that he never assumed the responsibility of another, having all he could do to pay his own bills, where- upon the dealer threatened to sue him. A short time after, our friend received a letter froma New York collection agency, to which, as well as several following, he paid no attention, until the following short but definite letter came : “Rey, ——: “« Dear Sir—Unless you remit at once we shall publish you all over the country as a Delinquent Debtor. “Yours, ete., To which he replied : “« Gentlemen—Ever since I entered the ministry I have been struggling for the title of D. D. Go ahead. “Respectfully, * — —. —Boston Budget. HERE is a story illustrative of the prosaic nature on which art makes no impression : In Westminster Abbey there is a large marble tablet in memory of a famous bishop, It is a bas-relief, representing the bishop—a portrait—in the agony of death, sinking into the arms of an allegorical female figure, presumably in- tended for the angel of death. It is said that an aged couple from the country were being shown round the Abbey, and pausing long before the tablet the old lady remarked to her husband : “That's a good likeness of the bishop, but,” regarding the angelic personage attentively, ‘it’s a very poor one of Mrs, ——. I knew her well, and she didn’t look like that.” MACMILLAN AND COMPANY, NEW YORK. Casa Braccio. By F, Marion Crawford, Two volumes The Stickit Minister, By S, R. Crockett. In the Smoke of War. By Walter Raymond. CHARLES SCRI R'S SONS, NEW YORK, Eckees from the Sabine Farm. By Eugene Field ace Roswell Martin Field. F, TENNYSON NEELY, NEW YORK AND CHICAGO. The Land of Promise,’ By Paul Bourget. The Comedy of Sentiment, By Dr. Max Nordau, ROBERTS BROTHERS, BOSTON. The Helen Jackson Year Book, Selections by Harriet Perry. An Old Convent School in Paris and Other Papers By Susan Coolidge. HARPER AND BROTHERS, NEW YORK. Dona Perfecta, By B, Percy Galdos. Translation by Mary J. Serrano, Introduction by W. D, Howells. People We Pass. By Julian Ralph. Red Menand White, By Owen Wister, Frederic Remington. Jude the Obscure, Notes in Japan. the Author: THE TRANSATLANTIC PUBLISHING COMPANY, NEW YORK AND LONDON. The Last Cruise of the Miranda, By Henry Collins Walsh. Illustrated by By Thomas Hardy. By Alfred Parsons, Illustrated by ‘A pap break in a curate's sermon is reported in the Church Times. Alter appealing to the old with “And you old men with your hoary heads,” be turned to the young men with the appeal: ‘And you young men with your blooming cheek.” He tried to change the phrase but it was too late— money, telling him that he assumed the responsibility. The —Hoston Traveller. Philadelphia Press. For malo by all Newsd alers in Great Tritain. Tee Tater CROPEAN AORITS— Mera Brentano, $7 Avenue de,/Opera patina Norm Gomory frcam Bidieg, “Chanerry Lae, ris; Saarbach's News Fichanwe. 1 ‘Clarastrame,. Mayeaon, London, EC, England, Avasts. as Germany. Agents for Germaiy, ‘Auitita and Switzertind. IVORY SOAP When you hear of “Spotless Linen” you can more than suspect that it was made “So cloudless, clear, and purely beautiful” by Ivory Soap. Tre Procter & Gawert Co., Cin'Ti, Jackets. Persian Boucle Cloth and Rough Cheviot, lined with Rhadame, 10.50 Diagonal and Rough Per- sian Cloth, lined with Pom padour Silk, Black Brocade or Rhadame, 4.50 $1 Driving Coat of Tan and Black ersey, lined with Changeable Taffeta or Black Brocade, Also, Montagnac. Storm Coat, alinea with Black Bro- ” $18.50 James McCreery & Co.,|é Twenty-third Street. Beatie — Marrs : ail FACES ARE MARRED by growths of dlefguring Bair, and doadt- ladies so affieted endare paiafel DEMELVO APragrant Liquid Compound — polsonoas ingr Removes Superfiuousf]air iF parpoee. y refund the aney te any case where } does ‘the promised results, Price $2 008 petite THE CHARLES A. VOGELE! Faces. paration for iraly ve trom ‘used according 20 Sent by Mail. R CO., Baltimore, Md. Johkanni “ King of Natural Table Waters.” Is Conceded to be the Finest Table Water ever Imported. Bottled at the Johannis Spring—Zolthaus, Germany. ERNEST GOGORZA, so Broad Street, N.Y.» Managing Agent in United States and Canst for Johannis Lond: LITTLE CIGARS. ALL IMPORTED TOBACCO. HIGHEST IN PRICE, FINEST IN QUALITY. 25c. a Bundle, ro in Bundle. Trial Package in Pouch by mail for a5c. H, ELLIS & CO., Baltimore, Md. Tne Amurican Tonacco Co., Successor. inter of your dis ith chills, cougss and colds, and the long raing sickness following. Life will be a burden unless, you are wise and lay ina goodly s3pF, of our “Old Crow That is the best relief poe to obtain. | You can depend upon its purity if you are fultosee that the word Ht is on the label, and our frm name on the case, cork, (ap sule, and label. H. B. KIRK & CO., Estamtisnen 1853. 69 Pulton St., N.Y. Also Broadway and 27th St. I will back my judgment to the extent ofa small bottle, anyway.” “Small bottle 1" said the Milwaukee m3% with scorn, “I'll bet you a small keg."— ver’ Indianapolis Journal, comicbooks.com