Life — August 1, 1895 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SAVING. | MUCH commend Jeannette and John. Their thrift could never be outdone. Though twenty chairs are in the room, Night after night they use but one. | —Boston Budget. A LONDON paper tells a story to illustrate woman's leadency to change her mind, A young and well dressed woman entered Charing Cross telegraph office the other day and wrote out a dispatch to be sent to Manchester. she read it over, reflected a moment and then dropped it on tbe foor and wrote a second, This she also threw away, tut was satisfied with the third and sent it off. The three jelegrams read: First, ‘Never let me hear from you again!” Second, ‘No one expects you to return!” Third, * Come home, dearest ; all is forgiven !"—Ex. “Do your worst 1” she whispered hoarsely. His heart failed him. “Do your worst 1” The fateful words rang in his ears, and he was just as anxious as his wife to get rid of the company who had alled, but he concluded at.the last moment to do only his rorst but one. Accordingly he played, but did not sing.—Detroit Tne curtain had risen on the third act, and the momen- tary hush that preceded the resumption of the performance on the stage was broken bya stentorian voice from the rear of the auditorium : “Is Dr. Higginspiker in the house 2” A tall, heavily whiskered man occupying a front seat rose up. “If Dre Higginspiker is in the house,” resumed the stentorian voice, he told me I was to come here and call him out at 10 o'clock.” Whereupon Dr. Higginspiker, looking very red, picked up his bat and cane and walked down the aisle amid loud and enthusiastic applause.—Chicago Tribune. It is undeniable that actions often speak louder than words. A usurious money lender, who had for some time collected an extortionate interest from a debtor, sent his collector to the man, as usual, one day. The collector returned and reported to his employer that he could not collect the money. “ Do you mean to say that the man declared to you that he wouldn't pay the interest?” the usurer demanded furiously. “* He didn’t declare so in so many words, but he gave me to understand so,” “ How did he give you to understand so ? THE VEILED DOCTOR. By Varina Jefferson Davis. ("New York: Harper and Brothers. Kafir Stories. By William Charles Scully. York: Henry Holt and Company. My Lady Nobedy. By Maarten Maartens. Harper and Brothers. A Pair of Blue Eyes. By Thomas Hardy. New York: Harper and Brothers. When Valmond Came to Pontiac. Chicago: Stone and Kimball. Pony Tracks. By Frederic Remington. Harper and Brothers. New New York : By Gilbert Parker. New York: A Lapy who had reached the time of life when she began to resent every birthday as a personal affront, was attending a sewing-circle at the parsonage one day, when the cry went up that there was a mouse in the room, Every lady in the room, except this one, fled, screaming. She remained in her chair, as pale as death, Hearing the uproar, the pastor, who was in his study, came in to see what was the matter. “It's a m-m-mouse!” the pale lady gasped. “Indeed! And why didn't you run with the rest ? Aren't you afraid of mice?" ** Lam mortally afraid of them!" “Then, why, please, did you stay in the room ?"” “Twas in hopes,” the lady faltered, ‘that I might be scared out of a year’s growth !"— Youth's Com- Tribune. ‘He kicked me down three flights of stairs !"—Ax. panion, For gato by all Newsdealers in Oreat Britain. The Inter EURorEax AOusTs—Mosra. Brentano, 37 Avenue de Opera, national “News Company, Tirean's Bulding, Chancery Lane, Paris; Saarbach's News Exchange, 1 ‘wayence, Ubodon, E.G, Engiand, hoxsrs. Germany, ‘Agents for Germany, Austria and Switzerland. llvoRY SOAP The muddy tinge of shirts, handkerchiefs, napkins, and table cloths just from the wash, is often from the poor soap. It will cost little, if any more, to have them washed with Ivory Soap. Tra Paocten & Gawere Co., Cin'tt, |MERIGCAN. 4. GNE AMPA cag enougl to recognize the different imported champagnes by their taste? If not you cannot detect any dif- wees GOLDEN AGE CHAMPAGNE between 7 and the best French Brands. The Golden Age Champagne is the finest natural product of the choicest and purest American grape wine, fermented in the bottle. A beverage made by Americans for Ameri- / cans, and it costs but one-third as much as imported champagnes of equal quality. | The Hammondsport Wine Co,, Hammondsport, N. Y. Reaby wit is one of the essentials to desk-room at the capital, and in this connection ‘Might relate an anecdote concerning a gentleman who isin Atlanta to-day. I refrain from ‘ving his name, taking for granted that he has seen the error of his ways since he passed put from the elevating influences of the city editor. To the early days our friend was on the local staff of a Cincinnati paper. He was tailed to report a revival meeting and was busily engaged in taking notes, when one of the anxious bench, “Madam,” he replied, + you see I am sent here by my paper. Iam very busy, and 7 really cannot spare the time.” “But, brother,” urged the good lady, ‘do you not remember the story of the fishermen (ie! Galilee, how they left their nets and all else to follow the Master ?" “‘T know the story,” replied the unregenerate knight of the quill, ‘ but there is a great ference, my dear madam. ‘Those fishermen were not working for John R. McLean."— Ex he sisters approached him and suggested that ne should go up in front and take a seat Johannis “« King of Natural Table Waters.” Is Conceded to be the Finest Table Water ever Imported. Bottled at the Johannts Spring—Zollhaus, Germany. THE ADIRONDACKS. Hotel Ampersand, On Lower Saranac Lak 10 hours from New York without change. Centrally located, Within'a short Grtve of all the principal resorts In the mountains, SPECIAL ATTRACTIONS FOR YOUNG PEOPLE. Swimming, rowing, canoeing, sailing, tennis) baseball and dancing.” Special rates for June. Delightful month In the mountains, For information address, BATON & YOUNG, Ampersand, Franklin Co., N.Y. NOTICE. All you have guessed about life — A insurance may be wrong. If you wish to know the truth, send for “ z '« ‘How and Why,” issued by the will please give old address a Paxw Mutat. Lire, g21-3-5 Chest as well as new when re- “ut Street, Philadelphia. questing change of same. ft | UBSCRIBERS TO “LIFE” Comicbooks.com