Life, 1895-03-28 · page 7 of 18
Life — March 28, 1895 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Political Context and Satire on This Page The page contains three distinct satirical pieces: 1. **Main illustration**: Shows a well-dressed couple in conversation, accompanying a joke about a man threatening suicide if refused something. The "punchline" contrasts his threat with preferring "the refrigerator to the frying-pan"—satirizing men who use emotional manipulation while prioritizing comfort over genuine hardship. 2. **"The News of the Day"**: Presents absurdist "news" items in deadpan style, including a Chinese general's retreat and a domestic violence incident. This section satirizes contemporary scandals and tragedies by treating them as casual social gossip, mocking how society trivializes serious events. 3. **"For a March Hat"**: A small cartoon about a hat that "will not blow off"—likely a commercial joke advertisement. The overall tone mocks upper-class pretension and social hypocrisy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
‘LIFE: 199 hair was a coronet of diamond stars. Among those present were Mr. and Mrs, S. Van Rensselaer Cruger, Mr. and Mrs. Oliver Harriman, Mr. and Mrs. Henry Clews, and Mr. and Mrs. Mortimer Brooks, Reports reach us of terrible sufferings from famine along the banks of the Euphrates. To add to the horrors of the situ- ation ravenous tigers, driven in from the overflowed jungles, feast upon the helpless natives. The leading tigers are gen- erally in pale blue satin flecked with pearls and diamonds. Among those present are Mr. and Mrs. 1. Townsend Burden, Mr. and Mrs. Elisha Dyer, Jr., Mr. and Mrs. Sidney Dillon Ripley, Mr. and Mrs. Peter Cooper Hewitt, Mr. and Mrs. Richard Mortimer, Mr. and Mrs. Karrick Riggs, and Mr. and Mrs. Frederick Gebhard. MAKING HIMSELF AGREEABLE. HE happy father was exhibiting his first-born to a friend possessing piscatorial proclivities. “How much does it weigh,” inquired the victim, after desperately casting about for something more complimentary to say. “ Seven pounds and two ounces,” replied the happy father. “ Dressed—er—I mean stripped," asked the friend, anxiously. “ Ofcourse,” the surprised father answered. “We-ell,” began the friend, -doubtfully, “that isn’t very much for a baby, i But—er-er—,” brightening up, “it would be a good deal for a trout.” IFE: I wonder where Mr. and Mrs. Hyflier will put all the people they've invited in that little flat. Hupsie: Well, if Hyflier had his way he'd put ‘em all under the She: WMAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A MAN THREATENS TO CombiT suIcIDE Because you ‘ble. REFUSE HIM? The Widower: \T MEANS HE PREFERS THE REFRIGERATOR TO THE FRYING-PAN. THE NEWS OF THE DAY. AS PRESENTED BY THE SOCIETY REPORTER. INGY LINGY LING has been captured by the Japanese troops. The Chinese General Fi Fo Fum retreated to the city of Pilly Willy Wink from which they were finally driven with tremendous slaughter. Among those present were Mr. and Mrs. I. Townsend Burden, Mr. and Mrs. J. Borden Harriman, Mr. and Mrs. James M, Waterbury, and Mr. and Mrs. Duncan Elliot. On Tuesday there was a tremendous sacrifice of gents’ underwear at the Third Avenue Emporium of Burstein and Schmidt. Among those present were Mr. and Mrs. Elisha Dyer, Jr., Mr. and Mrs. August Belmont, Mr. and Mrs. H. Le Grand Cannon, and Sir Roderick Cameron. There was a sickening scene last Thursday in a seventh-floor flat in the Trinity Church district. Patrick Cassidy, in a fit of drunken rage, beat his wife to death with FOR A MARCH HAT. an iron stove handle. Patrick was in mauve brocade with trimmings of sable. In his SometHiNc THAT WILL NOT BLOW OFF,