Life — February 28, 1895 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIFE “Say, did you ever drink dat stuff, champagne ? Holy gee, it’s rank ! It's like beer wid sugar an’ vinigar into it. Sure. Dot's right ; | only took one glass, and dot’s all de champagne Chimmie Fadden wants. I've heerd dem jam "bout Bow'ry whisky, but it's milk ‘longside dot stuff. Say, it’s no good."—Chimmie Fadden “WELL, His Whiskers says something ‘bout its bein’ better for him t’ bring de sums t’ Miss Fannie radder dan Miss Fannie goin’ t’ de slums. Den he tells her t' goin de house, an’ says he'll ‘tend t' me. ‘Say. mebby yer tink he didn’t. Well, he took me in de harness-room an’ he just everlastin’ lambasted de hide off'n me. Sure. Say, His Whiskers is a reg’lar scrapper. Sce? He says, says he, ‘Miss Fannie ‘Il look after yer soul an’ I'll look after yer hide, he says."— Chimmie Fadden. “Say, womin is queer folks, anyhow, and ye never know what Vell dey ‘Il do . ‘ill dey do it. Sure."—Chimmie Faden: ‘ “Say, I'm tinkin’ womin allers does a ting ‘cause dey don't wanter ; or mebbe dey don’t wanter ‘cause dey can, Dem curves is too much fer a farmer — like me."—Chimmie Fadden. “Say, I taut I'd beat out dot valley, hands down, so I stopped runnin’ ; but de . | mug what tinks he’s a safe winner when womin is de stake, dat mug is a farmer. Sure!"—Chimmie Fadden. “Dat’s de worse ting ‘bout womin. When you tells dem someting what squares everyting, den dey goes and has a fit, and yuse has U give up de last plunk t' cure dem,” -Chimmie Fadden, “1 po net think your friend, the writer, could have been in earnest, for he must have known that really nice people never are witty. Perhaps he was only joking ; so many of those Western people seem to be jokers, though whatever they do that for, I'm not sure."—AMrs. Major Max. “ BuT would not Bob Billings prove himself acceptable, if he proved that he could get a wife?" «I'm sure I don't see how, Bachelors of his age can never be popular with more than one woman ata time. Nobody wants always to be meeting a man who is likely to be very much in love with some other woman."—Ar. and Mrs. Major Max. “ TMAVE noticed that you quote poetry only on the nights you beg off from dressing for dinner, Now I suppose Mrs. Jack would think of something clever to say about that. “She always says clever things about things when they happen, which I don’t think is very good form.""—dfrs, Major Max. “LAM, my dear, as you know, a temperate man. Yet, notwithstanding that commendable attribute, I hold there are certain festive occasions the full quality of whose spirit cannot be’ justly appreciated without that moderate increase in the fanciful phases of our faculties which vibrate in pleasing measure, in, I may say, a more redundant when the mind has been cleared of the cobwebs of care through the means of those enlivening titillations by which the brain responds to the action of alcohol."—Major stax. Cuiaie Fappen Ixtropuces Miss FANNIE TO THE READERS OF LIFE. Tue Duchess is Benixnp THR CURTAIN WITH THE BULL Pup. L | ) | : Vv mer he , . READY TO WEAR. adde In Chronic Dyspepsia, Renal Calculi, &c. ony samen a JARANTEED. * THE PATIENT GAINS 114 POUNDS IN FLESH. Fit, Finish, Fashion, expe Mr. W. H. Gregory, of Stovall, N. C., Slated by Dr. F. R. Gregory, of The Best. T Stovall, N.C. ASK YOUR OUTFITTER FOR THEM. 4 “Mr. W. H! Gregory, a sufferer from ehronte dyspepsia, chronte liver disease, and almost resulting ln granular degeneration, Chronic Dinrriwea, with Kidney compiz a ‘Write for car complete een cations, Nts of renal colic, passages of Gateait, nd all the worst and most distress Ms Souvenir of Fashion,” free by Mail. a forms of Gastro-Intestinal Disorders, after having exhausted the catalogue of Dicte- chan lice und Materia Medien und Therapeutics, under the advice and treatment of number CLUETT, COON & CO., Maxers, 5°O% a of the most skillful and experienced physicians, without benefit, and having the mean- = spea while declined, from a normal welghtof lico hundred and bventy to one hundred and unhe siz pounds, has been completely restored to vigorous health by a visitof three months tothe Butato Lithia Springs and the free uso ot the water o¢Spring No.1 tothe exelue cars, sion of all other remerlics, gaining while at the Springs seventy-two pounds in weight and in six months thereafter forty-two poundsadditional. “The transition from a ie state of cadaveric emaciation to a new life of robust health and strength in 60 short It sp a time seems little short of miraculous.” 1S THE BEST, wher Dr. David E. Smith, Oakley, Virginia. SHOE FIT FOR AKING. ner My danghter suffered from ‘Chronic Dyspepsta, She becamo emaciated and rece feeble And hercondition elarming. Tho most approved treatment of the profession 05; .CORDOVAN, RA proving unavailing, I carried her upon a-bed to the Buffalo Lithia Springs, upon a and diet of Tea and Crackers, and Bread and Milk, the stomach often rejecting these, and 45359 Fine CALF & KANGAROO. fluen put her exclusively upon the water of the old Spring (No. }), the beneficial action of $3.59 POLICE, i which was soon apparent. Under continued use of the water there was marked and 2 13 SOLES. whic continued Improvement, until she was able to eat heartily and digest readily any 50 $2. WORKING, Ww ordinary article of food. "In less than two months she returned home fully restored." aoe ecraa PIMeteNS, ‘This Water ts for sale by drugytsts generally, or in cases of one dozen half-gallon bottles trade $5.00 f.0.b. at the Springs. Descriptive Brmptiets sent to any address, $2,$1.75 BOYS SCHOOLSHOES, Le THOMAS F. GOODE, Proprietor, Buffalo Lithia Springs, Va. ‘LADIES: . sate F128 G6, ware Best DONGO! Ard ‘s in yo Over One Million People wear ny The on awarded at the Paris W.L.D ie the. In on 4889. L. Douglas $3 & $4 Shoes spas All our shoes are equally satisfactory aPaCH They give the best value for the mone MYGIENIO, ADHERENT & TxVinISLE. They eq equa ea) castors shoes in sty’ it. POUDRE DE ARIZ. — CEX. FAY, laventor ‘The prices are unlform,---etamped on sole. 22s 9, Rue de ta Patr, Parte.—Cantion. None Genuine but those bearing the word “FRANCE” and the signatare CH. FAY. From $1 to $3 saved over other makes. Bos If your dealer cannot supply you we can. comicbooks.com