Life — February 28, 1895 — page 15: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Extract ¢ BEEF a Used by all good cooks, Send address for Cook Book. Armonr & Co., Chicago. MORNING, NOON AND NIGHT, You can leave Grand Central Station, the very centre of the city, For Chicago, St Louis and Cincinnati. in a magnificently equipped train, Via the New Vork Central, The Great Four-track Trunk Line, Trains depart from and arrive at Grand Central Station, New York Connecting the cast and west, by the New York Central Lines. Chicago is only 24 hours away ; Cincinnati 22; St. Louis 30. Eleven through trains each day, Practically a train every hour, via “AMERICA’S GREATEST RAILROAD, It is related that a certain man was recently very sad because his wife had gone on a visit, which she would not shorten in spite of his appeals to come home. He finally hit upon a lan to induce her to return. He sent er a copy of each of the local papers with one item clipped out, and when she wrote to find out what it was he had clij from the rs he re= fused rents The sehtme worked admirably. In less than a week she was home to find out what it was that had been going on that her husband did not want her to know about.— Exchange. “IT WOULD love to go sleighing, but my feet get so cold.” ‘A few moments after, as the young man to whom these remarks were ad- dressed went out into the midnight air, he breathed an audible sigh of relief, and hugging himself with ill contained ecstasy as he hurried away in the frosty night, he exclaimed “What an escape!’ T might have asked that girl to marry me." Mrs, Banks: How do you man- age to keep your cook ? Mrs. Broo We keep the kero- sene can hid. “Yes, I manied a poet.” “Indeed. And how did he man- age to keep you from knowing he was one ?" CHOLLY: It must be horrible for a man to have two heads. Sue: Yes. One like yours would be enough for anyone, I imagine. Briccs (on New Year's Day): 1 saw the old year out last night. Griccs: How did the old fellow > Briccs: Like twins. @ set perfectly & when inter- @ lined with © led or crushed by ® careless packing @ an outer gar- S ment, will re- @ sume their © proper shape if ® lightly shaken The advan- [ ® "nampee~ “Fibre Chamois.” 8 ALL LEADING DRY GOODS STORES SELL IT Life’s Monthly Calendar. $1.00 a Year. Ten Cents a Copy. CONTAINS Thirty-two pages of Humorous and Society Illustrations and Interesting Text. Each Month The Calendar awards Liberal Cash Prizes to its Readers for the most Suitable Contributions for its Columns. If you have not Already Seen it, send Ten Cents for a Sample Copy to Life’s Monthly Calendar, 19 WEST THIRTY-FIRST STREET, New York City.