Life — February 7, 1895 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Young Tourist : WHAT SHALL WE TRY? Honest Waiter (in a whisper): TRY ANOTHER RESTAURANT. DISCOURAGING. OES your papa object to my calling upon you, Miss Dolyer: “ Not in the least, Mr. Spudds.” “ Does your mamma?” “No.” “Do your brothers?” “T think not.” “Then I guess I'm pretty solid.” * But there is one member of the family you neglected to bout, and who does object most heartily.” * | thought I had named them all, but now I think of it, I did omit to ask about your pug.” “Oh, Fido doesn’t mind you.” Then who is it that objects to my coming to see you ?" “Tris only I, Mr. Spudds.” ** DINKS has got one of those talking machines.” “ A phonograph?" “No; a wife.” A CONSIDERATE DOMESTIC. Phwat the divil have ye thim dirty dishtowels i IKE: shtuck in the spakin’ chubes for ? Marta: To presarve the pace o’ mind o’ the misthress's. daughters. They're all ould maids, an’ if they wor to hear the burnin’ words 0” love that you do be t’rowin’ at me thay'd be kep’ awake all night wid invy. SHOULD BE THANKFUL FOR THAT. ILLIS: There's one thing you people who reside in Brooklyn ought to be thankful for. WALLACE: What's that? “You don’t live any longer than other folks.” A REAL EFFORT. O you remember the heathen in your prayers, Tommy?” “Yes; 1 prayed real hard that the little boys in Africa might have a jolly snow for Christmas.” comicbooks.com