Life — September 20, 1894 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE: FAT SESOORS ALLS A S\D-LOOKING gentleman, like a sort of very much retired Hamlet, with a painful xpression of face, entered the coffee-room of a country hotel the other day, holding in is hand a small canister, sk at this, gentlemen,” he said, sorrowfully went into a_gunsmith’'s shop io get something to eat, and the man handed me this can of powder. He said I could go wf blow myself up; ‘professional actors were not wanted now, there's so many fine paateurs. I pledge you my word,” said the tramp, holding the can within an inch of the rate in which a fire was burning, “I'm so miserable I've a’ mind to follow his advice.” ‘Dare you do tt ?” said a by-stander, winking at the crowd. The wretched party gave a sad, theatrical, lingering look and tossed the can into ithe fire. The company yelled and rushed out of the place in all directions. When they filed in about ten minutes later, the empty can was sitting harmlessly on the fire. Not so the glasses, Four were empty, and several luncheon plates also. Hamlet was gone.—Lippincott's, A COUNTRY minister in a certain town took permanent leave of his congregation in the following pathetic manner : “Brothers and sisters, I come to say good-bye. I don’t think God loves this church, because none of you ever die. I don't think you love each other, because I never marry I don't think you love me, because you have not paid my salary. Your e mouldy fruit and wormy apples, and * by their fruits ye shall know them.’ Brothers, Lam going away toa better place. I have been called to be chaplain of a penitentiary. Where I go you cannot come, but I go to preparea place for you, and may the Lord have mercy on your souls. Good-by New Berlin Gazette. Tue poct Shelley tells an amusing story of the influence that language ‘hard to be understood " exercises on the vulgar mind. Walking near Covent Garden, London, he accidentally jostled against an Irish navvy, who, being in a quarrelsome mood, seemed inclined to attack the poet. A crowd of ragged sympathizers began to gather, when Shales, calmly facing them, deliberately pronounced, “I have put my hand isto the hamper, I have looked on the sacred barley, I have eaten out of the drum, ‘Thave drunk and am’ well pleased, I have said ‘ Knox Ompax,’ and it is finished.” ‘The effect was the astonished Irishman fell back ; his friends began to question him, ‘ What . "s the hamper?" ‘What have you been drinking ?" and S walked away unmolested.— he Junior. ONce upon a time, away back in the '6os, there was only one Pullman car. That was known as car A. It cost $4,000—some of them cost $40,000 now, | Car A ran out of Chicago on the Alton road. George M. Pullman had evolved it. When his idea had been put into wood he mounted it on sixteen wheels and attached it to atrain. Then he, personally, sold the right to sleep in it for 50 cents a chance—or 50 cents a risk, if you prefer it, for it was about one man out of five who could possibly sleep in car A of the ‘bos. Fifty cents was the price, and two in a berth’was the rule, as unswervable as the laws of the Medes and Persians. If some sybarite wished to’ sleep by bimself and was extravagant enough to pay for the luxury, he paid $1. Then he temporarily owned the berth. One night, going out of Chicago, a long, lean, ugly man, with a wart on his cheek, came into the depo. He paid George Mf; Pullman’ so cents, and half a_berth was assigned him, Then he took off his coat and vest and bung them up, and they fitted the peg about as well as they fitted him. Then he kicked off his boots, which were of sur- pesing length, turned into the berth, and, having an easy conscience, was sleeping like a ealthy baby before the car left the depot. Along came another passenger, and paid his so cents. In two minutes he was back at George Pullman. *: There's a man in that berth of mine,” said he, hotly, ** and he's about ten feet high. How am I going to sleep there, I'd like to know, | Go and look at him.” In went Pullman—mad, too. The tall, lank man’s knees were under his chin, his arms were stretched across ‘the bed, and his feet were stored comfortably—for him, Pullman shook him until he awoke, and then told him if he wanted the whole berth he would have to pay $1. “My dear sir,” said the tall man, ‘a contract is a contract. I have paid you so cents for half this berth, and, as you see, I'm occupying it. There's the other half,” pointing to a strip about six inches wide. '** Sell that and don't disturb me again.” And, so saying, the man with a wart on his face went to sleep again. He was Abraham Lincoln.— Philadelphia Record. IN W, R. le Fanu's ‘Seventy Years of Irish Life” is a reference to the visit of George IV. to Ireland in 1821, which was enlivened, as much as a state visit may be, by the following incident : The king entered Dublin in an open carriage, drawn by eight splendid horses and attended by s number of grooms and footmen iar magnificent liveries." He was in military uniform and constantly took off his hat, smiling and bowing to the people, who enthusiastically cheered him, At one point'a man close to the carriage stretched out his hand to the king and said : “Shake hands, your majesty !" The king shook hands heartily. The man waved his hand and called out : * Begorra, I'll never wash that hand agaia !"— Youth's Companton. For sale by all Newsdealers to Great Britain. The Inter- national Chancery L isedon, News’ Company, fream's Buliding, EO, Bagiand, hoerre EUROPEAN AGExTS—Meawa Brentano, ; Saarbech's News Exchange, 1 for Germany, 37 Avenue de l'Opera, Parts; rrasse, May Germany, Agents for , Austria abd Switzeriand. Rich Jewelry. A large showing of jewelry pieces—exquisite conceit and finish. —at retail. Srautpinc & Co., (IXCORFORATED.) State and Jackson Sts., Chicago. x6 Ave. de I'Opera, Paris, CELEBRATED HATS, ax Ladies’ Round Hats and Bonnets And The Dunlap Silk Umbrella. 178 & 180 Fifth Avenue, bet. 22d & 234 Sts. and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St. NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago. 916 Chestnut St., Phila. t#r-Agencies in all Principal Cities. Gold Medal Awarded, Parts Exposition, 1889, HITCHINGS & CO., Horticultural Architects and Builders And Largest Manufacturers of GREENHOUSE HEATING ano VENTILATING APPARATUS. Our ‘Suggestion Book” mailed free. Established go Years. RSH «. Conservatories, Greenhouses, Palm Houses, Etc., Erected Complete with Our Patent Iron Frame Construction. Plans and Estimates of Cost and Illustrated Catalogues Sent on Application. 233 MERCER ST., N.Y LEWIS 6. TEWKSBURY Irritations oft SKIN and SCALP Odors from Perspiration Speedy Relief by Using Packer’s Tar Soap it Soothes while it Cleanses."" Medical and Surg. Reporter, Phila. Blankets. Special Autumn Sale. Having received our full as- sortment of California and Eastern Wool Blankets, in the most desirable weights and sizes, we are now offering the following unusual values Eastern Biankets, in 10-4, 11-4 and 12-4 Sizes, rangin; in price from $1.65 to $7.5: per pair, California Blankets, in 10-4, 11-4, 12-4, 13-4 and 14- Sizes, at from $4.00 to $22.00 per pair. In this sale are included our own Special Brands of Extra Fine California Blankets— Santa Clara, Silverado and San Benito—at a reduction of 1.00 to $3.00 per pair from lormer prices. We also invite particular attention to 1000 pairs Fine California Blankets for double beds, at 85.00 per pair; worth $7.50. The above are all high grade, regular family Blankets of| excellent qualities and should be of special interest to all housekeepers. James McCreery & Co Broadway and 11th St., NEW YORK. ey |, DavcuteR: Papa went off in great good 9 | bumor this morning. MoTHER :; My goodness! That reminds me. I forgot to ask him for any money. change, Banker, 50 Broadway, New York, 1a Buys and sells Bills of Exchange on all parts of the world,