Life — September 6, 1894 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LI \ craTals west-side young man who fondty imagines he gives the correct imitation Englishman in his daily walk and talk called on'a young woman who is thoroughly . a. talked about all'Sorts of things, and about g o'clock the father and mother of the girl and a fewof her friends came into the parlor and the conversation took on a literary turn, There was twist to humorists and something was said about the stupidity aithe average English humor. The young man objected. ‘* No} Sunch every week, don't you know, and I must say I consider its jokes and humor far soperior to any similar American product. I deny that English humor is stupid. The contemporary humor of England, to say nothing of that of the days gone by, is refined, “hich American humor is not. _It is humor for people of intelligence and culture.” There was an instant denial of this statement and the discussion grew rather warm, the young man defending England as well as he was able. Finally he said: “Well, I happen (0 have in my pocket a clipping of a joke from Pach which I think is as bright abit of wit as I have seen in years. I never remember to have seen anything in one of the multi-colored American humorous papers which equals it. The picture is of two men coming away from a ballroom, after talking, presumably, with a young woman who is seated in the foreground. This is the dialogu Wachal. He hel, You did make an ass of yourself! whether you liked Botticelli ! Well, where's the fun? I said I Ha, ha! That's just the joke ! cheese t “Now, that,” continued the young man, ‘is delicious. Think of a young man being asked by a young woman if he likes Botticelli, which is a cheese, and replying that be prefers chianti, which is a wine. Don’t you think that is funny, Miss Fanny 2?” “Yes,” replied the young woman, “I think it is, especially as Botticelli isn’t a cheese at all, but was a celebrated Italian painter."—Buffalo Express. I heard Miss Brown ask you pa: chianti! tticelli isn’t a wine, you juggings! Botticelli's a AN amusing little paragraph is going the rounds regarding a gentleman who recently scceived an invitation to diner at Marfborough House.” He did not know what costume he ought to appear in, so sent a note on the sly to the private secretary. Sir Francis Koollys replied that **as no ladies areto be present, trousers may be worn,” Atfirst sight ths seems embarrassing, if not positively shocking. The simple explanation of this dubious message, however, is that, as a rule, knee breeches are worn with evening dress st Marlborough House.—2xchange. RPP R PRG Sie of the portraits: in’ the “Academy, ofMUBE,"the follow ry “cirétiates : A Hongarian peasant went to a Munieh after and asked him to paint the) _ portrait of his mother. “Certainly,” said the painter, ‘* send her to me.” “But she is dead ; if she was alive I wouldn't want her portrait.” “Well, have you any picture of her 2” “No; if [had I wouldn't want one" “Well, my friend, describe her to me. “What sort of eyes, hair, etc.” He secured that, and appealing to his artist friends who had some Hungarian studies, he painted a head. ‘Secreting his friends about the room he sent for the peasant. The man came, looked at the picture, his eyes filled with tears, he put up his hand to wipe| them away. ** Poor fellow,” said the artist, patting him on the back. then, it affects you so much.” ‘\No,” said the man. “+ Poor mother, to think she has been only dead six month and looks like that."— Marl and Express. “It is a good likeness, | ‘* ARE you the man that answers the queries ?” asked the caller, removing. his hat as) j he came it “Tam,” replied the man at the desk, pigeon holing a request for statistics as to the} total number of persons killed in the Crimean War and filing away in the waste basket a| note asking for a brief biography of all the Presidents from George Washington down to| Grover Cleveland.‘ What can I do for you ?” ‘I've got a little bet with a friend,” rejoined the visitor, ‘and we've agreed to leave) | it with you. What is the size of a glove that a perfectly proportioned woman with a No.| 6 foot ought to wear?” ‘“ The ‘size of glove, you say?” Yes." «7 That perfectly proportioned woman — “With a No 6 foot should wear 2" “That's right. “ Just wait a few moments. He waited, Nation: Blaine’ his caller. 6 fog NSeording 10, the best information I can ybtain,” he suid, oo I will consult the anatomical tables.”” ‘The man at the desk overhauled Poor's Manual, the " Wealth of Roget's Thesarus, Butler's Analogy, Allibone’s Dictionary of Quotations,| ‘Twenty Years of Congress,” and a Concordance to Shakespeare, and turned to, “a woman with a No| if she is perfectly proportioned, should wear on her hand —" | Yes."" “Any glove that fits her. Good morning."—Chicaga Tribune. Turn the knob to the right. ‘The Inter. Yor sale by all Newsdealers tn Great Britain. bod fi Lane, gatignal News Company, Bream's Building, Chancery Leadon, E O., Engiand. A lows Senter, “Agente for Germany, Mustria abd Switeerinnd. Wedding Invitations and Fine Stationery —at retail. Nothing gives better evidence of one’s good taste than the use of fine CELEBRATED HATS, an Ladies’ Round Hats and Bonnets And The Dunlap Silk Umbrella. 178 & 180 Fifth Avenue, bet. 224 & 23d Sts, and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St. NEW YORK. Patmer House, Chicago, 614 Chesnut 8t., Phila. "Agencies in all Principal Cities. Gold Medal Awarded, Parts Exposttion, 1800, stationery. Send for sample book of correspondence papers. Spautpinc & Co., (txconroraTeD.) State and Jackson Sts., Chicago. Irritations of the SKIN and SCALP Odors from Perspiration Speedy Rellef by Using Packer’s Tar Soay ‘*It Soothes while it Cleanses."’ Medical and Surg. Reporter, Phi It gives me great pleasure to testify tothe marvelous effects of your “Bromo Sopa,” which enabled me tosing before his Majesty, the Emperor of Germany, during his recent visit to London. The painful headache and indisposi- tion from which I suffered before taking the “Broo Sopa” would have prevent- ed me from appearing that evening had it not been for the aid of your valuable remedy. LUIGI RAVELLI. USE BROMO SODA. qoeesoos eanrenoegaect! Royal Italian Opera, Supplied by all Druggists, : Refuse all substitutes. Covent Garden, London, Jooe $e seocceceoooeeooes SOCERESEST CCC CEEEESES CCS 36 Ave. de I'Opera, Paris. ‘The Ideal HOTEL of America woe VENDOME =e fst2e7 BOSTON Comes’: PROFILE WHITE HOUSE Tndisputably leading THE=, EVER Kol’ ais LIN K « UF F Tat Tarr & Grezniear. LEWIS 6. TEWKSBURY HITCHINGS & CO., Horticultural Architects and Bulldet} nd Largest Manutacturers ot GREENHOUSE HEATING sao VENTILATING APPARAT Established go Years, Conservatories, Greenhouses, Palm Mouse, Etoy Erected Complete wil Onr Patent Iron Frame Constraction. Plans and Estimates of Cost al | Illustrated Catalogues Sent on Application. 233 MERCER ST., Banker, 50 Broadway, New York, Buys and sells Bills of Exchange on all parts of the worl