Life — July 26, 1894 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

60 THE PICKPOCKET. ELINDA was a cautious little maid, Whose motto was the single word * Beware,” She never lost a chance to be afraid, And spent a deal of time in “taking care ;" Vet, all the while, her natural timidity She hid beneath a mask of intrepidity. Obliged, one day, upon a railway train, To sit beside a grave, sedate young man, A sudden terror filled Belinda’s brain : “He'll surely pick my pocket if he can ! “Tis true he looks respectable, but then The worst of sharpers pose as gentlemen.” They reached a tunnel in another minute, Belinda, with her customary care To guard her pocket, slipped her hand within it. But found another hand already there ! To show her fortitude and hide her fright She grasped the villain’s fist and held it tight. Until they reached the open track again, And as the train into the daylight rushed As if it fain would break its record, then No wonder that the modest maiden blushed, No wonder that the villain smiled a smile, Her hand was in Ais pocket all the while. A. Davies, EXPATRIATION. is publicly stated that the Williamvan- tT ] derbilts are likely to take up their per- manent abode in England, They have made the necessary arrangements, having taken a country estate and having secured a sort of social advance-agent in the person of the Duch- ess of Manchester. For this action they have precedent in the firm establishment of the Williamwaldorfastors as members of the brevet British aristocracy. For any Americans who wish to take this per- fectly legal step LiFe has only words of god- speed. If they can go, we certainly can spare them. “My honorable lord, I will most humbly take my leave of you,” old Polonius says ; and Prince Hamlet exactly voices our present senti- ments when he replie You cannot, sir, take from me anything I will more willingly part withal.”” A STRONG TIE BETWEEN THEM, * LIFE: FROM NANTUCKET. ss N™: Mr. Chucks, after you have finished your glass of grog ‘would you mind spinning me a real good, old-fashioned yarn?” “Well, miss, I ain’t got no yarn to spin, to tell yer the truth ; but seein as how yer wuz so good as to bring me the Jamaiky rum, I'll tell yer wot happened ter a mate of mine doorin’ the late war. Yer see, miss, me an’ my mate wuz in one of the most sanguinist fights off the coast wot ever took place, an’ my mate wuz struck square atween the shoulders with a shell wot stuck there, an’ we all thought he would die in conseqwence. But, strange ter say, the doctors wuz afraid ter remove it, fur fear Bill— that wuz my mate’s name—would bleed to death. Well, to make a long story short, Bill recovered from the effecks of the shot an’ served right through till the end of the war. But when he returned home he took cold an’ somehow or other he began to cough, an’ he coughed up on an awerage four grape shot a day; for yer see, miss, the shell wot struck him wuz filled with ‘em. One on ‘em, miss, wuz a good deal too large for Bill's throat to manage, an’ it stuck there an’ stuffocated as good an’ as brave a seaman as ever sailed afore the mast!" (Drinks.) BY THEIR BOOKS YE SHALL KNOW THEM. Ww" =: At Mrs. Greenfern’s reception to-day I met Miss Slingeroff- Ink, the author of the latest literary sensation. HusBanp: Horribly ugly woman, isn’t she ? “Why, yes. How did you know?” “She describes her heroine as not strictly beautiful, but irresistibly fascinating.” BY Fact is, old boy, nobody can acquire a thorough command of English without a knowledge of Latin. Gates: I thought so, too, but I know better now. never studied Latin, Mrs. Gates comicbooks.com