Life — July 19, 1894 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ETRE: A Goop joke on James Brett Stokes is going the rounds of the clubs. Mr. Stokes was invited to a party at the private insane asylum in San Mateo, and according to his wont selected the prettiest girl in the room as his a In the course of the evening he said to the doctor : conversation with her. know that girl in the white dress with blue spots is a animated “Do you I've been talkin artner, and kept up a Very curious case ? to her, and I cannot for the life and soul of me discover in what direction her mental malady lies, She kept looking at me so oddly. or whether she had been robbed of a large fortune, or jilted by the Prince of Wal in various ways tried to find out the cause of her lunacy. Of course I saw at once she was mad— asked her if she did not think she was Mrs, Cleveland w it in the odd look of her eyes, and But I couldn't. She was too y likely,” answered the doctor; “you see, she is not a patient ; she is one of the maids." Meanwhile the pretty housemaid went to her fellow servants and said : He’s been dancing with me—a fine man and bronzed, but as He asked me if I wasn't Mrs. Cleveland, if I hadn't been robbed seen the new patient? mad as a March hare. of a large fortune, and whether the Prince of Wales didn't want to marry me. What a pity, and such a fine young man, mad. “1 see, ginger beard was sitting behind the degrees in fifteen minutes down in 1 “I don't call that nothin; “Have you He is Ex. * said the grocer thoughtlessly, for he had forgotten that the man with the tove, “I see that the temperature dropped twenty as the other day.” ” said the man with the ginger beard. “T remember when they was a party of us campin’ up in the Black Hills that the temperature drapped so sudden that one of the mules in the outfit, which was in the act of kic! an’ froze that way, an’ stood with its heels in the air two days. in’ was caught We had a thermometer along, but the cussed thing went back on us, so I can’t ezzactly say jist how much of a drap it wuz.” *Oh, yes.” said the school teacher, ‘it is a well-known fact that at a temperature of about forty degrees below zero the mercury freezes and hence cannot register.” “That wasn't it at all, young man,” said the man with the ginger beard, with fine scorn. ‘* The durn mercut the glass. rapped so quick that the friction made it red hot and busted The man from Potato Creek began to snicker, but the man with the ginger beard stopped his mirth with a stony stare.—/ndiunapolis Journal. He was San Franciscan in the played-out city of London, He came from the West, where he had developed that independence and self-reliance which, combined with 00d looks and $30 gold pieces, made a man superior to all Europe. He strolled with graceful dignity into'a gilded bar, over which presided a divinity of superb physical form, but still a woman, with that air which only an English barmaid can possibly put on—an air of mingled conceit, pride, coquetry and humility. She awaited his order. He was dressed in the latest fashion. He threw the lapel of his coat back with a proud gesture, B and, fixing his fascinating eye on the bar beauty, he said : Tell me, my pretty maid, what can you suggest fora man who ate a Welsh rabbit last night and does not feel well this morning ?” She did not smile ; she did not appear to be affected by the appearance of his swelling chest or his wicked eye ; she simply sai “* Why didn’t you heat two Welsh rabbits and let 'em chase heach hother ?"—£-xr, is one of the few At Mrs, RICHARD CLARKE, wife of the congressman from Mobile, women brave enough to scatter witty things in the waste of five minute official calls. the house of Mrs, Hale of Maine the church service was mentioned. “There's one portion of the litany.” said Mrs. Clark, “that always used to bother me. Its where we pray especially for the ‘widowed and fatherless. I never could see why they needed praying for so much, as I thought motherless children deserved pity much more, but I've just found out why the motherless aren't mentioned. It’s because there are so few of them, as the first thing a man does when he is bereft of his wife is to 100k around for a new mother for his children." —Kate Field's Washington. “At Raglan Castle,” said Mr. Ganthony, the ventriloquist, ‘1 gave an entertain- ment in the open air, and throwing my voice up into the ivy-covered ruins, said, * What @ are you doing there?’ To my amazement a voice answered, ‘I climbed up ‘ere this mornin’ just to see the folk and ‘ear the music; I won't do no harm.’ I replied, * Very well, stay there, and don't let anyone see you, do you hear?" The reply came, + Ves, muster, I ‘ear.’ This got me thunders of applause. I made up my mind to risk it, sol § bowed, and the boy never showed himself."—Exchange. AT one of the annual dinners of the New England Society of New York, at which Mr. Blaine and the late Governor Van Zandt, of Rhode Island, were both guests, a little good-natured chaff was indulged in as to the relative influence of the Hollanders and Yankees in the settlement ‘and development of New York. ‘I can give you the history @ of New York ina sentence,” said Van Zandt, in whose veins coursed both Dutch and Yankee blood. “The Dutch settled New York, and the Yankees settled the Dutch.” Argonaut, ‘+ AND do you mean to say," said the man who likes ornamental phrases, “that his senatorial prospects lie wrecked among the breakers ?"” “No; not among the breakers; among the brokers."—Washington Star. For salo by all Newsdealers In Great Britain. The Inter. national London, E . England, AOKNTa, ompany, Rrearu's Building, Chancery Lane, EvRormax Agrsts—Mewre Brentano, 37 Avenue de lOpera, Paris; Saarbach’s News Exchange, 1 Clarastrame, ence, Germany, Agents for Germany, Austria and Switzerland, Choice Diamonds Rubies, Pearls and other Precious stones —at retail. Spautpine & Co., (txconrorateD.) State and Jackson Sts., Chicago. 36 Ave. de Opera, Paris, Our “Suggestion Book” mailed free. wants all the modern improve. ments, This makes the Mail Chute a C7 =, necessity in fUSMAILY Office Buildings, TheCutlerMfg.Co., Sole Makers, ROCHESTER, N.Y. CELEBRATED HATS, —ano— Ladies’ Round Hats and Bonnets And The Dunlap Silk Umbrella. 178 & 180 Fitth Avenue, bet. 22d & 234 Sts, and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St. NEW YORK. Palmer House, Chicago. ‘16 Chestnut 8t., Phila, EB-Agencles in all Principal Cities. Goid Medal Awarded, Paris Exposition, 1559, TRAMP (entering faxidermist’s): Do you stuff all kinds of animals here ? TaxtpeRmist: Why. yes. Tramp: Well, I wish you'd stuff me with good dinner.—Harper’s Basar, TRADE MARK EWASKUM aN LINEN LINED ASK YOUR FURNISHER FOR LEWIS 6. TEWKSBURY There is as much difference between WILLIAMS’ and any other kind— common laundry soap and the SHAVING STICK as between a coai choicest toilet article. . When next you buy a Shaving Stick—INSIST that your Druggist give you ff WILLIAMS'—." The only one in beautiful leatherette case—the only stick in the world—making a lather that will not dry on the face while shaving. The J. B. WILLIAMS CO., London Office : Glastonbury, Ct., U. 5S. A. 64 Gt. Russell St. THE HOMESTEAD SCHOOL FOR GIRLS. Family limited to twelve. The Misses Stowr. Extra Qualité Sec, Greenwich, Cosa. uminy Vin Brut, vintage, 1884 Champagne,| Wt All you have guessed about life insurance may be wrong. If yoo wish to know the truth, send for ‘* How and Why,” issued by the rr Mutuat Ltr Chestnut Street, Philadelphia. vintage, £5 Soe Acext ror U.S. ANTHONY OECHS, No. 51 Warrea St, Banker, 50 Broadway, New York, Buys and sells Bills of Exchange on all parts of the world. h de Numbia comicbooks.com