Life — July 19, 1894 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

> LIFE: I would not have you guess ‘twas I, For that might put constraint upon you. Perhaps you'll know me by-and-by ; Perhaps you'll love me! When I've won you. T'll whisper that ‘twas I who found ‘This clinging silken band of yellow, We're strangers, still I will be bound, You, and no other have its fellow ! And now may my respect for you Plead pardon for these rhyming fancies ; For never motto was more true Than ** Honi soit gui mal y pense” Denison Ela THE SADDEST THING. F all the things that bring remorse This one's the royal pin : To think you'll bet upon a horse, And then to see him win, PIETY IN THE HEATED TERM. RIMUS: And the congregation voted down Dobson's motion to give the pastor a month's rest ! SECUNDUS: Yes. Dobson said of course he meant a month of Sundays. LIMITED QUARTERS. R. HAYSEED (¢n the city): There's a wagon sellin’ condensed milk. I wonder wot that’s fer ? Mrs. HAYSEED: I guiss that's fer people wot lives in flats. HE: Did that burglar who was in the room last night get your watch? He: Burglar in the room! Why didn’t you wake me ? SHE: Why, I thought you knew, You snored so loudly. HEARD AROUT POOR SPOTTY, THE BUTCHER'S DOG? HE FELL INTO THE SAUSAGE MACHT “GRACIOUS! JUST IMAGINE HIS FEELINGS!" “Yes. He WAS TERRIBLY CUT UP.” “EVEN SUPPOSING."—Stead House, Boy (to Digby, who set out to enjoy in quietness a sand and sun- bath): Supposix’ 1 wuz TO TELL YOU THE ENTIRE WILLAGE IS GONE ON A PIC-: AN’ suPPosIN’ I WUZ TO BRACE YOU FOR FIFTY CENTS, AN’ THEN SUPPOSIN’ YOU CUSSED A BIT, AN’ REFUSED TO GIV IT, WOT'D YOU DO sUPPosIN' I SET MY DOG ON YoU?" THEIR SALVATION. HE Senate owes a considerable debt to Debs for withdrawing the critical eye of the public from Washington and fixing it upon Chicago. When © scarcely anyone was looking it finished its tariff bill and sent it to the House. The people have been too busy to i pay it the compliments it may have expected, but the Senate is no loser on that account. The less said of its efforts to put the busi- ness of the country on its legs the sooner they will be for- gotten and the more the Senate's reputation will be left. OUNT BAIGHREUM (replacing pin in Miss Van- dergilt’s hair): Zere! Zatees all right. Next!