Life — May 24, 1894 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘LIFE: Missourt Jupce: Stand up, sir. the law should not be passed on you ? **T'm not the prisoner, JUDGE (fierce! First Quack : “TL have just taken Secoxp Quac First Qtack + per executor Well ? xchange. THERE was trouble in the Blifkins household, girl, and he demanded that she be discharged. Ker, and the battle waged fiercely, “She's no good,” said Mr. Blifkins ; “«] know it,” acknowledged Mrs. BI Is'that any reason 2— At NvLLy Have you anything to say why the sentence of er honor, I'm a detective——" Cleveland Plaindealer. Here is a letter it would hardly do for us to publish. A man writes : he first bottle of your medici ” There it breaks off short and is signed, in another handwriting, Mr. Blifkins did not like the hired Mrs. Blifkins said she would not discharge “*she can't cook.” fkans, is soggy and her biscuits are like stones.” ." acknowledged Mrs, Blifkins, “You admit that she irons execrably.”” “Ido.” “She can't cep without tearing up the carpet, and she can’t dust without breaking something every time she switches her dusting cloth around,” dmit that, too. e is cross to the children.” ** She is.” “She isn't neat about the kitchen.” T know it.” Then,” roared Mr. Blifkins, ‘why in blazes do you want to keep her ?"" Mrs. Blifkins thought of the weary hours she had spent in hunting for servant firs and grew desperate." Because," she said, with a view to temporizing until she could think of a reasonable excuse, '* because —— because — " “+ Because what ?” and Mr. Blifkins shouted so loud the neighbors could hear him, “Because nothing. Fire her out !"" Mrs. Blifkins drummed her fingers on the table and thought as hard as she could for an excuse. Mr. Bliffins raged around the room like a bear with a sore paw.‘ Because what ?"he shouted. “Now, madam, I want you to give an excuse, and that mighty quick, or I will go out and discharge her myself 1” 2 Mrs. Blifkins was at her wits’ ends. She twisted around nervously in her chair Finally a thought struck her. ‘+I don’t want to discharge her," she said, and there was a ring of triumph in her voice, ** because —' “+ Because what ?" broke in her husband, ‘* Hurry, and out with it.” ++ Because she carries out the garbage so beautifully." Do you wonder that Mr. Blifkins didn't get home until 4:30 o'clock the next morning? —Buffalo Express. ‘TL WENT toa fine dinner, last night, where all the forks and knives and spoons were of silver. ** Let's see them," —Hallo, Iv Spain it is the ambition of grandes to unite in themselves as many grandeeships as possible by marriage of heiresses, whose names and titles are assumed by their hus. bands; whence the od story of a benighted grandee, who knocked at a lonely inn, and when asked as usual ‘Quien és?” (who is there ), replied, Don Diego de Mendoza Silva Ribero Guzman Pimental Osario Ponce de Leon Gumaga, Accora Tellez y Giron, Sandoval y Boxas, Velasco Man—" “In that case,” interrupted the landlord, shutting his window, Go with God. There is not room for half of you."—A Century of Anecdote. jealera tn Great Britain. The Inter- Bream’s Building, Chancery Lane, ‘AouxTa. EUROTEAM AGENTS —Memre, Brentano, 37 Aven Paris; b's. Rowe mt" Clarastrame, Mayence, Germany, Agents for Germany, Avsiria and Switseriand. Wedding Invitations and Fine Stationery —at retail. Nothing gives better evidence of one’s good taste than the use of fine stationery. Send for sample book of correspondence papers. Spautpine & Co., (rRconPoRaTED) State & Jackson Sts., Chicago, 36 Ave. de l'Opera, Paris. “At the Popular Shop.” Proper Papers for Walls, Cotontal Sash Mustins “Liberty” Art Fabrics, oid English Easy Chairs, For Summer Homes. (W. 42d St. Joseph P. McHugh & Co. - (at sth Ave. (Wall Papers and Fabrics—carriage freetoalt parts of the States.) CELEBRATED HATS, AND Ladies’ Round Hats and Bonnets And The Dunlap Silk Umbrella. 178 & 180 Fifth Avenue, bet. 22d & 234 Sts, and 181 Broadway, near Cortlandt St. NEW YORK. — Palmer House, Chicago. ‘M6 Chestnut 8t., Phila tB-Agencies in all Principal Cities. Gold Medal Awarded, Paris Exposition, 1859, EUROPEAN PARTIES. Tours 87 days, $350; 60 days, $175; 47 da} $300 ; 47 days, $250. Seventh Season. Send for circulars and references to Mrs. M. D, Frazax, 70 & 71 Globe Building, Boston, Mass. BATHS of HOMBURG MALF AN HOUR FROM PRANKFORT-ON-THE-MAIN, Mineral Springs very salutary in disease of the stomach and attacks of gout. Unrivaled summer climate; pure and bracing mountain air. Whey Cure; New Bathhouse; Salt Car- bonic Acid, Pine and Mud Baths. Inhalations from vaporized Salt Water. Cold Water Cure. Gymnastic and Orthopedic Establishments, Magnificent Kurburs, first-class Restaurant, open all the year round, Excellent Orchestra. Opera, Reunions, Illuminations, Lawn Tennis (36 courts), Golf, Rounders, Cricket. Vast Park, Charming Environs Comfortable Hotels, Private Houses, Moderate Charges. Mineral Waters and Salts exported in any quantity. LEWIS 6. TEWKSBURY There is as much difference between WILLIAMS’ and any other kind— as between a coarse—common laundry soap and the choicest toilet article. SHAVING STICK When next you buy a Shaving Stick —INSIST that your Druggist give you J WILLIAMS'—." The only one in beautiful leatherette case—the only stick in the world—making a lather that will not dry on the face while shaving. The J. B. WILLIAMS CO., Glastonbury, Ct., U. S. A. Tenant wants all the modernimprove- < ments. AV NES This makes the EZ AOD * Mail Chute a bY meee necessity in eats 4 Office Buildings. The Cutler Mfg.Co., nocnesren'tv. “ SOLD BY ALL LEADING jRNISHERS FOR CATALOG Banker, 50 Broadway, New York, Buys and sells Bills of Exchange on all parts of the worl. comicbooks.com