Life — April 5, 1894 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

*LIFE: A BARRISTER named Bushe was making a speech for the defense bei O'Grady, a noted judge of Ireland, when an ass began to bray loudly outside t “ ‘ait a moment,” said the chief baron ; ‘one ata time, Mr. Bushe, if you pleae> The barrister waited for a chance to retort, and it came ‘presently. When O'Gay was charging the jury, the ass began again to bray, if possible more loudly ty before. “beg your pardon, my lord,” said Bushe: may I ask you to repeat your ly words ; there is such an echo in this court I did not quite catch them ?"—Oebtey Enquirer, SCISSORS A NLS Tne other day a countryman came running into the station in breathless haste. He attempted to jump into the train after it had started, but was held back by the guard. Greatly incensed at being thus baffled, the stalwart peasant gripped the guard round the middle and said : “If Lam not to go with the train, you shan’t either.” And the trai med out of the ‘station, leaving both the guard and his captor on the platform, to the great amusement of the passengers. —Deutsche Verkehrszettung. ox Ar oe Judy coun ) * BEFORE I reached the dignity of a position in the National Legislatur a Southern Congressman, toa group of listeners, ** I represented my Count Legislature. During one of my canvasses I got over into a rough part of the cous where I knew very few people, and thought they didn't know me, in which regad{ found later I was slightly in error. As I rode along the bed of a creek 1 overtook a maz riding a hard-looking mule, and I began to give him some talk, I got round at icy ties, and I began to ask him about his mule. What's such an animal as that you are on worth ?° *Bout $40 er sitch a matter." *** Will he work ?' “++ Course.” ++ *Got any speed ?? Je kin walk ‘round a cornfield a good many times ‘tween sunup and dark.’ Can he run?! 1e looked at me rather curiously, I thought. : . Well, mister,’ he said, * I can't Say ez he’s reliable in that line. Fer instance, ain't wurth a dern to run ina hoss race, but I reckon he couldn't be beat ef he ran fertelf legislature,’ and thereupon I changed the subject to something more agreeable. ”—Detras Free Press. Why is it that the custom of turning up the trousers is so universally popular among des?” ow thing.” you see, it is the only method of imitating the English that doesn't cost any- Tasked. Detroit Tribune. Ir was in the gun-room, and Tartarian, after regaling his audience with various thrilling tales of his exploits and adventures in the chase, described the following horrific ce: The other day,” he said, * in a fearful snowstorm, I found myself, without a gun pon, face to face with three wolves.” 4 1, what did you do?” ! * Well, I sumply stared at them, with my hands in my pockets, and whistled.” * Do you mean to say they didn’t attack you ?” hey couldn't ; they were in a cage."—Gaulots, For sale by all ational Nev Building, jon, "C, England’ Acnsre.” Newsdealers in Great Britain. The Lnter- ‘Chancery Lane, PACKER’S TAR SOAP is undoubtedly the best Shampooing agent known, It does not dry the hair, but makes it soft and glossy. It is refreshing and beneficial to the hair and skin. 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