Life — January 25, 1894 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CHARACTERS FROM THE HOUSEHOLD OF FRANK R. STOCKTON. One of the fairest maid- Tue Lavy, FY ens at a semi-barbaric € Court. Tue Ticer, z } The fiercest beast in the Kingdom. xe: Two exactly similar ad- ing rooms hung with the skins of wild beasts, A small iren- barred window in the centre of the dividing wall; heavily padded doors lead from each into a huge arena, In one room—Tne Lavy ; in the other—Twe Ticer. Time: The Present. THE Lavy (rousing froma deep sleep on a divan covered with leop- ard skins): Oh, 1am weary, weary of this Here must I stay till that young and chooses the waiting ! man answers the conundrum, Lady or the Tiger. “On, Tas Weaky, WEARY OF THUS WAITING.” THe TIGER (with Ais huge paws sticking through the iron bars of the window): Hello, there! You needn't make such a fuss about it; I'm in the same boat with yo Lapy (satirically): But you're a tiger, and a man-tiger at that. You're used to the soli- tude of the jungle, while my only life has been “Anda man's foes thall be they of his own household.” the gayety of Court. Why must we be shut up here all these years? TicER (philosophically, scratching his left car with his right paw): Well, it’s all done for a good cause—the cause of literature. The “HeLto, THERE!” slave who brought me my breakfast this morn- ing said that he heard the King remark to his daughter, the other day, that if the question were settled about the Lady or the Tiger, Stockton’s occupation as a story-writer would be gone. Lapy: I don’t see why ! TIGER (viciously): Women never do. Lapy (with severe dignity): Perhaps Your Royal Bengal Highness can enlighten me? TIGER: It’s just this way:’ Every time Stock- ton publishes a new book, most of the people in the Kingdom rush to buy it, to see whether it contains the answer to the Lady of the Tiger con- undrum, When they don't find the answer, they keep on hoping and buy the next book ; and so on indefinitely. Lapy (interested) : It isn’t a bad scheme. Ticker: A regular lead-pipecinch. It does not matter what he writes, the people are bound to buy it. Lapy: Oh, well, they get their money’s worth anyhow. The Nubian maid whow. 53 ‘on me always brings me his new books. I get a great deal of fun out of them. TIGER (cynically): You have to; you've nothing else to do, except to embroider that wedding dress which you won't have a chance to wear. Laby (with tears in her eyes): It's mean of you to bully a poor, weak woman. You are like all the men I used to know ; they are half- tiger in their dispositions, the brutes. TIGER (showing his teeth): 1 don't feel flattered to be compared with a man. Respect- able tigers always defend their women-folks and children to their last drop of blood. Your men, I understand, generally desert their women under fire, and get divorces and “legal separa- tions,” and break up their families, and let their cubs shift for themselves, We may bully our tigresses a good deal, but we are not that bad! Lapy (conetliating him): Well—you have a pretty good heart when one gets through your hide, But that fs tough! ‘That is why I despair of ever improving your literary taste. So far as I can see throughsthe grating, you never do anything but brush your royal stripes, smoke cigarettes, and read Rider Haggard, TIGER (with a leer): Well, isn't that better than reading Stockton's everlasting conun- drums ? = ta Laby (patrontzingly): You just show your ignorance! Mr. Stockton has written some per- fectly beautiful tales with no.conundrums in them at all. There is Mfrs. Lecks and Mrs. Aleshine, TIGER (cutting in): 1 guess The Dusantes were the conundrum in that book ! Lapy (protesting): But he answered that in the sequel. Then there is The Late Mrs. Null— TIGER (with a fiendish laugh): The big- gest conundrum of the lot! I tell you Stock- ton is simply a great big Lapy (peftishly): I won't talk to you any more to-day, unless you play fair. (Coaxingly) But isn't Rudder Grange perfectly splendid ? Come now, you must admit that ! TIGER (dubjous- ly, chewing his claws): Vm not one) “THEY KEEP ON HOPING AND UY THE NEXT BOOK.” comicbooks.com