Life, 1894-01-18 · page 5 of 16
Life — January 18, 1894 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Page 37: Life Magazine Humor This page contains three distinct humor pieces: **"Proverbs"** (top right): A romantic narrative about separation testing a couple's love, concluding with the boy's mother offering whisky, suggesting alcohol as comfort—a joke about drinking habits. **"A Natural Deduction"** (bottom): A courtroom joke where a prosecutor asks why the lady didn't intend to hit her husband when she threw a sugar bowl at him. The witness responds "she did hit him," creating absurdist logic humor. **"Scientific Barber"** (bottom middle): A barber claims microscopic examination shows razor edges have saw-like teeth. A sarcastic customer questions this dubious "scientific" claim—satirizing pseudoscientific marketing. **"Daisy Bell"** (right): A small cartoon of someone holding a large drinking vessel, likely referencing the song "Daisy Bell." These represent typical early-20th-century satirical humor targeting romance, marriage dynamics, and consumer skepticism.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“WHAT MADE YOU THINK I COULD EVER BE ANYTHING TO You?" ‘TWAS TOLD THAT YOU WERE ALL THINGS TO ALL MEN.” A NATURAL DEDUCTION. ROSECUTOR: What reasons can you give for thinking that this lady did not intend to hit her husband when she threw the sugar bowl at him? WITNE Well, she did hit him. =CIENTIFIC BARBER: It is hard to believe that when examined under a microscope the edge of a razor is seen to have teeth like those of a saw. WRITHING BUT SARCASTIC CUSTOMER: Is it? 37 PROVERBS. WO proverbs in an ancient book I find, And on their inconsistency I ponder. The first says—*‘ Out of sight is out of mind,” The second—*'Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” I made suggestion to the girl I love—— ** We'll try it, it’s the only thing to do; Our double evidence will clearly prove Which of the two is false and which is true? “This summer while you wander by the sea, Tin the city have my life Elysian, T'll neither write to you, nor you to me, Till in a month we render our decision.” ‘The weeks crawled by, I grew quite thin and pale, My eyes reduced to mere consumptive hollows ; At length the month was up, and through the mail There flew two letters which were writ as follows : Mine read ‘* Dear love, the test was too severe ; Though long the time, not once my mind did wander, I think we've proved conclusively, my dear, That absence makes the heart just ten times fonder.” She wrote ‘Dear Tom, I think by now you'll find Which proverb was the right one after all, Of course when out of sight one’s out of mind, I'm to be married in the early Fall.” Martha M. Schultze. “V * said the boy, as his mother took a bigger pull than usual at the whisky bottle, “* Mumm’s Extra Dry!” DAISY BELL.