Life — August 3, 1893 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

‘LIFE: WHY SHE THOUGHT SO. The Poet: Wat Lev YoU To THINK I HAD QUIT WRITING POETRY ? She; YOuR Last BOOK OF VERSE. Rat US: Wha’ foh yoh wear such a necktie as dat, niggah? Doan yoh know red and green inhommonious combination ? Jake: Am dat Den how ‘bout er water- melyon? am an so? “Fo! pe Lawo’s Sake, DAT 'DICKLUS POSITION ?”” ‘“*MODDER DONE PUT A MUSTARD PLASTER ON MA BACK LARSE CHRISMUS, AND CLAR DONE FORGOT ALL ABOUT IT TILL DIS YAR FOFE JULY.” MALACHI, WHAT DOIN’ STANDIN' IN He: BECAUSE, OTHERWISE, HE MAY DISAGREE WITH US. A TALE OF THE SEA. Written in the Silly Season. POET'S mind got off its hcoks Once on a Summer's day ; And sitting on a pile of books "Twas this he had to say : Prefatery. A good ship rode at anckor On the top of a mountain peak ; And the captain had a canker Inside of the first mate’s{cheek. The Condition of Affairs, ‘Then up the crew did mutiny While they were all asleep ; But at the captain's scrutiny ‘Their ears began to weep. The Uprising. He tied them all, both hands and feet, With cobwebs from the hold ; And gave them nought to eat but meat, And paid them nought but gold. The Fearful Punishment. Tom Halt. A RESULT OF HOT WEATHER. HAPERON Girls, one of the gentlemen who goes with us to the theatre to-night is a widower who wishes to marry again. He is a nice man. THE GIRLS (22 one breath): An ice man? I'll take him. OREIGNER (on @ suburban train): Who is that distinguished looking gentleman, showing so much attention to that ordinary looking woman beside him ? BINTHER: Oh, that is De Fitz-Smith returning from town with a new cook. comicbooks.com