Life — March 30, 1893 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

-LIFE- DIDN'T FORGET. Ms S. BRIDIE had never been brought up to travel M" alone, When she was a girl she had always been accompanied by some member of the family or by an experienced and intelli- gent maid. But soon after her marriage she found hersuit obliged to undertake a short journey without escort, as she had given up her maid out of deference to Charlie's limited income, However, Charlie carefully planned the trip for her, and gave her all the necessary instructions as to details. He particularly impressed upon her mind that she was to change cars at Newark. “ Now don’t forget, my dear ;” he said, as he kissed her good-by before leaving the house that morning. “All you _ have to do is to get into the right train at Jersey City and then change at Newark,” Mrs. Bridie carefully repeated this injunction to herself, while going down town in the Elevated, and when she reached the Pennsylvania depot she felt that she had her lesson by heart. She approached the ticket seller, and, handing him a five dollar bill, took up her ticket, the price of which was a dollar and five cents, and started for the boat. She had scarcely gone tea feet before she heard a violent rapping on the glass behind her, and turned around. “WELL, IT BEATS Sam HILL TO SEE THAT HEN A SITTIN’ ON THAT LUMP 0’ COAL IN THAT FLOWER POT. I'VE DRUV HER OFF SOME EIGHT OR TEN TIMES, BUT SHE ALLERS MANAGES TO GIT BACK AQIN, “By Gosh! SUPPosin’ SHE SHOULD HATCH A TON 0 COAL!” “ Change!" shouted the ticket seller, loudly. “Yes, thank you;" replied Mrs. Bridie, with one of her most gracious smiles; “1 HOW IS THIS FOR HIGH? “Sue is Very Hich CHURCH, ISN'T SHE?” “WHY, SHE BOWS HER HEAD WHENEVER THE YOUNG RECTOR'S NAME IS MENTIONED.” know ;—at Newark /" A MISPLACED IDIOM. E: Your protége, the German sign painter, has lost his job. SHE: How? HE: He painted some signs for the park which read “Keep the Grass Off.” ARGARET: You mustn't point that gun at me, Carry. You know mamma told you never to point an empty gun at any one, Carry: But this one isn’t empty, it’s loaded. RIGGS: Mrs. Wil- lowsuap has had to be transferred to a lunatic What for? Her husband sat on her new Easter bonnet before she had a chance to wear it. comicbooks.com