Life, 1893-03-09 · page 12 of 16
Life — March 9, 1893 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "Safe at Last!": A Satire on Urban Transportation Disaster This *Life* article satirizes a real or plausible incident: a Fifth Avenue Stage Line omnibus (streetcar #3033) that went missing for two weeks before being towed to Madison Square by a Department of Street Cleaning cart—pulled by horses so malnourished their bones protruded through their harnesses. The satire targets multiple subjects: the incompetence of the transit company, the sensationalism of competing newspapers (the *Mail and Express*), and corporate indifference to passenger suffering. Passengers endured two weeks without adequate water, drinking "Second Avenue beer" instead, yet the company apparently forbade dancing to avoid damaging the vehicle's structure. The lower cartoon about the flat earth uses Irish-dialect working-class characters to mock popular scientific confusion—a separate humor piece on the page. The fashion sketches appear incidental. The joke: *Life* celebrates the omnibus's "safe" arrival while highlighting the company's negligence, the absurd salvage disputes, and broader institutional failures in Gilded Age New York.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
156 EXTRA! SAFE AT LAST! 3033 TOWED INTO MADISON SQUARE. GREAT JOY AMONG THE OF SUITS FOR DAM TION OF SALVA SUSPENSE PASSENGERS—TALK At three o'clock yesterday afternoon the long over-due 3033 of the Fifth Avenue Stage Line was sighted coming West through Twenty-third Street in tow of one of the Department of Street Cleaning carts. She was first sighted two weeks ago a few miles South of Avenue B, with both horses giving signals of distress, With much difficulty a hawser was made fast and the slow progress to Madison Square began. Two or three times the horses sifted through the interstices in the harness, but the bones were collected again and put back in the usual places. THE UPS AND DOWNS OF FASHION THE SCIENCE OF IT. “ARRAH, THIN, PAT, DO YEZ RAILY THINK THE WOR-R-RLD 1S AS ROUND AS THAT?" “Av coorse I po!" ‘THIN PHWAT I CAN'T GET T’ROUGH MY SHKULL IS, PHWHY THE FOLKS ON THE UNTHER SOIDE DON'T FALL INTO SHPACE 1” “Vez MAKE ME TOIRED !"" WELL, BUT PHWHY Is IT, I Ax YEZz?” Gob HAS GIVEN THEM COMMON SINSE, MAN ALOIVE, AN’ THEY SIMPLY HOWLD On!" A LIFE reporter endeavored to secure from the officers of the com- pany a narrative of the journey, but they had been commanded to keep their mouths shut in the interests of an exclusive publication in the Maz! and Express. It is needless to say that the report will be doctored up to suit the wishes of the principal stockholder in the Fifth Avenue Line. The emaciated passengers who came ashore from 3033 were too full of joy to talk much, but it was learned that their sufferings were very great. Over onthe East side, when the water supply gave out, they were obliged to slake their thirst with Second Avenue beer, except on the occasions when it rained and they could catch a meagre supply of water as it poured through the leaks in the roof, They cheered themselves as best they could with singing and prayer meetings, but no dancing was permitted as it was feared that it would be too great a strain on the architecture of 3033. There was only one death on board which was offset by the birth of a fine pair of twins on the 18th, They will be named respectively “Bonesie” and “ Ribsie” after the gallant steeds of those names. Several of the passengers are contem- plating suits against the company for false imprisonment. The question of salvage has already been raised. The Italians who manned the ash-cart have filed a libel on 3033 for $2.66, being two-thirds of her estimated value. The company will resist payment of this amount as being excessive. The long suspense is over and LiFe joins in the public joy that 3033 is safe at last. comicbooks.com